No Thanks, I’ll Pass: An Essay on Why You Need to Stop Telling People to Smoke Weed and Mind Your Own Business

I’m just going to come out and say it — I hate weed.

I know weed is fun. I know it’s (technically) never killed anyone. It doesn’t turn you into a tsunami of rage like alcohol can. It grows out of the ground. It’s a win-win all around. I get it.

No, I don’t oppose its legalization or widespread distribution and use. I don’t look down on people who use it, and I do believe in its effectiveness in helping folks manage a variety of medical issues.

Then what the hell is the problem?

I recently came across a VICE article purporting that weed can cure COVID-19 (according to “research” done in, of all places, Oregon) and my eyes rolled right into the back of my skull, and then the seeds of this whole giant rant were planted. Yes, I know it’s VICE, and they have a penchant for misleading headlines (the article is actually based on a study of the potential for cannabinoid compounds to block cellular entry of the virus, for which research is still ongoing, and these compounds cannot be introduced to the body by getting stoned). And to their credit, they’ve also published articles containing actual fact-based info on why some brains don’t jive with it, which are worth a read. But still.

I’ve been peer-pressured into using weed for decades, and as a human youth with the understandable need to fit in with their peers, even after a weed-induced panic attack landed me in the ER I would still cave, always knowing I was tempting fate (one time as a kid I literally ended up hyperventilating into a paper bag in the bathroom of some strange house for an hour while a bunch of grown-ups I didn’t know and my best friend, who had also smoked whatever the fuck it was I smoked, sat by looking puzzled). I accepted it’s not for me years ago and quit for good. And seriously, I don’t care if I’m in the same room with it. But if it’s offered, I don’t partake.

I take a stimulant (Adderall), an anti-depressant (Trazodone), and an occasional Clonopin to manage my moods, sleep, and ADHD. My decision to take psychotropic medication rather than rely solely on alternative medicine is not a topic for debate, and I cannot and will not “flush all those pills down the toilet” and buy a bunch of weed. The strain, quantity, quality, or method of consumption has nothing to do with anything. Ingesting it, inhaling it, whatever, it’s usually a bad time. It’s proven completely ineffective for me medicinally and otherwise. And I resent being coerced into it.

“You just have to smoke a lot of it and get used to it.” But would I do that? If someone told you about their fear of roller coasters you wouldn’t try to persuade them to get back on one because they “just haven’t ridden them enough,” would you?

There is a lot of science out there to back up my negative experiences. Cannabis use has significant potential to not only exacerbate but induce anxiety and even psychosis in vulnerable groups (those with bipolar spectrum disorders or schizophrenia, for example). What happened to me is a lot more common than you’d think, but no one’s really talking about it all that much.

The hype surrounding all of the untapped medicinal potential of cannabis, the cute little socks with the pot leaves on them, all the propaganda and enthusiasm, and all of it happening in a relatively short amount of time while our approach towards mental illness has not changed much since the 19th century is something that’s difficult for me to fully embrace. To me, it’s just a part of a large and very old problem— the hesitation and sometimes flat-out refusal by a large portion of society to treat mental illnesses and neurodiversity as legitimate and based in biology as much as environment, thus undeserving of our time, money, attention, understanding, and sensitivity. We’re chronically overmedicated and over-psychoanalyzed, so the argument goes. It’s undermining our intrinsic value as humans, with all the wonderful faults and flaws that make us unique. Psychiatry is just another tool borne of capitalism designed to insure obedience of the masses. It is the enemy. Community is your friend. Stuff that comes out of earth, or from kelp, or from the side of a mountain, or whatever, is all the “medicine” you need to keep your brain’s health sufficient to coexist harmoniously within said community, and ultimately, the global one.

When news of OxyContin overdoses began emerging, we made it a point not to blame the victims— instead, we fought (rightfully and successfully) to make sure the Sacklers and all those Big Pharma reps were held accountable for misleading doctors and patients, and clearly, concern for the welfare of fellow humans was a huge public motivator. So why on God’s green Earth are we instead not only not helping but actively shaming people living with ADHD, anxiety disorders, depression, schizophrenia, and PTSD? Why do so many otherwise smart people let themselves get caught up in the fallacy that if a medical condition isn’t visible it can’t possibly be real or severe? And most importantly, where the fuck do people get off being so smug and insensitive?

“Weed is natural.” Well, so is poppy seed, snake venom, coca leaf, hemlock, poison ivy, cyanide, and a common target of pothead Haterade — alcohol (which, for the record, I avoid as much as possible). Psilocybin is just as “natural” (and for some, just as enjoyable) as cannabis and has been proven in clinical trials as a promising treatment for depression. But did you even know that before I just told you?

Conversely, hormone treatments and insulin are synthetic (as in, they are created in labs under controlled conditions), but I think we can all agree they should be more accessible, because they save lives. Also, unless you’re talking about a black hole created in a physics lab, everything on Earth is naturally occurring. LSD is “natural.” Everything is “natural.” This argument is garbage, and it’s high time to put it to rest.

Yes, doctors get kickbacks from Big Pharma. Yes, medication is overprescribed and yes, we need to ensure there are viable and accessible alternatives to pharmaceuticals.

But all this “people just expect to be happy by taking pills” shit is a myth. The fact alone that an autistic person has to defend themselves for taking prescription meds to manage their condition is a fucking outrage. And the idea that all mental health clinicians are bogeymans looking to turn people into automatons instead of human beings who will usually side with their patients rather than insurance companies (if they choose to be in-network they are essentially taking a pay cut, so they literally don’t have incentive not to) is utter nonsense. The pills, the F.D.A., the kickbacks, none of this has anything to do with individual people being unwilling to treat their conditions using methods that are more in tune with a healthy planet and cooperative society and everything to do solely with the thing I brought up earlier— capitalism. Yep, that capitalism. The evil, shitty system that rewards the pursuit of material bullshit, stifles creativity and individualism, and views all human life as a means of creation of wealth to be shared only amongst a chosen few, and the same evil, shitty system that has turned access to life-saving insulin and mental healthcare into a luxuries and will soon do the same to the cannabinoid industry by churning it out of factories, taxing the shit out of it, selling it to the public at whatever price is determined by the market, and imposing penalties on anyone outside of that market who tries to sell or obtain it.

Yep. Sorry to burst your bubble, but legitimizing marijuana is not going to ensure human rights, end class warfare or transform the sexist, puritanical hell we live in into some fuzzy green utopia. There is lot involved in making weed mainstream, and it won’t become uncomplicated any time soon, if ever. Instead of passing judgement and lecturing evanyone that so much suggests they might be suffering from anxiety about the “right strain” based on anecdotal evidence, how about reading up on how legalization can and will (positively and negatively) affect underserved communities and supporting local sellers instead of trolling Instagram as a “Woke Scientist” (an actual Instagram account supposedly run by a “doctor” that is, I swear to God, every bit as inane and ill-informed as it sounds) and alienating the same people who want to dismantle this fucked up system just as badly as you say you do?

Obviously, the majority of people on Earth will not argue against depriving corporations of power and ensuring our basic needs are not tethered to the idea of making a couple of Ivy League guys obscenely rich. But our reality, right now, is that we live in a world filled with massive amounts of damaging misinformation, junk science, and plain old-fashioned bullshit making the rounds at light speed around the world every day thanks to the internet and social media. And it is crucial to be fully aware of the potential impact of one’s agenda and who it might be excluding — or harming.

Because rest assured, it’s not the pharmaceutical giants — they’re still making record profits. It’s not Oprah, or Mehmet Oz, or Dr. Phil, or Jordan Peterson. It’s my friend who suffers from narcolepsy and can’t get Medicaid to cover her treatment. It’s the sexual assault survivor with PTSD who can’t get through the day without a panic attack. It’s your autistic neighbor who has difficulty communicating her needs to others. It’s trans kids struggling to get by in school. And it’s the unhoused veteran living in Anarchy Row who needs access to harm reduction centers and Naloxone because (and you should already know this) addiction doesn’t live in a vacuum —substance abuse disorders are more often than not the result of people living with mental health issues who have turned to “hard” drugs as a way to cope.

We have amassed plenty of bipartisan support for legalizing marijuana at this point (a thing that, again, I sincerely back up one hundred percent, as someone who is deeply invested in social progress and as an opponent of the D.E.A. and that infamously colossal waste of money and resources known as the War on Drugs). Can we please start directing some of that energy and activism into education and eliminating stigma and creating permanent access to mental health resources? Maybe fewer folks would need to self-medicate with alcohol or Fentanyl-laced street drugs, and maybe more people would seek help for their problems without worrying about condemnation from friends and family or treatment costs? Doesn’t that sound at least as appealing as heaps and heaps of free weed?

Folks, there is no magical cure for everything, and mental health needs to be taken far more seriously if we are to really start breaking down the barriers that continue to marginalize people. If you fuck with cannabis and find it to be effective for whatever is ailing you, good on you! But it is NOT for everyone. Alternative therapies, including those involving cannabinoids, are not always sufficient or even effective, and meditation, mindfulness, deep breathing, and physical exercise routines would be impossible for many people to maintain without psychotropics. So anything that delegitimizes actual psychiatric intervention, including this lazy, myopic line of “weed is harmless and will fix your whole life” thinking is up there on my shit list along with all the unchecked and very not harmless toxic positivity floating around both on social media and in real life right now, and it needs to stop like, yesterday.

And shame on you if you’re on board with all of that shit. Because you’re not anyone’s ally. You’re not an advocate for acceptance, diversity, or inclusivity. And you’re certainly not part of some noble, enlightened effort towards curing the world of its ills and transforming it into a saner, better one — you’re just part of the problem.