A Moment of Boldness
This weekend I was at the YMCA shooting hoops when a man approached me from the opposite side of the courts. I tracked his approach through my peripheral vision and resolved to ignore him, quickly jacking up a shot (it clanged off the rim) to demonstrate that I was a very serious basketballer who ought not be bothered. To my surprise, he struck up a conversation with me anyway. Normally people at the gym seem to do their best not to acknowledge each other unless they already know the person, but this fellow broke that unspoken understanding with a simple question: “do people come here often?” At this point the basketball courts were totally empty, so I said “evidently not.” The man told me that he had just recently moved here from the East Coast for a business opportunity — a chance to own his own pizza joint.
As I listened to him talk, I was struck by the ease with which he had approached a complete stranger and began sharing details of his life. He definitely was a talker, so I fell into my usual mode of listening and asking questions to keep things flowing. I learned that he had never graduated high school, but that after working for a few years delivering pizzas he took a job as an assistant manager and proved himself by cutting costs and increasing revenues. “Anybody can be a delivery driver. Anybody. So I knew if I was applying for jobs in a few years and all it said on my resume was ‘driver,’ I wouldn’t have any chance.” After being promoted to manager and working for a few years, he seized the opportunity to get on the path of owning his own restaurants, which is what entailed his cross-country move.
He then asked me what I did, and I obliged by giving him a basic rundown of my version of corporate life. “So what do you see your career path being with that job?” I laughed and said that I had no idea. This was true — when I was in school my parents reinforced the importance of getting good grades to get into a good college to study something good and ultimately get a good job. Figuring out the ultimate purpose of one’s life was never part of that equation. For a while that was fine since the mandate to succeed academically absorbed a lot of energy, but one cannot remain a student forever. It turns out that the question “what should you do in life” isn’t put to bed by crossing the artificial line of a graduation. It’s a question that will follow you to the end of your days.
When I said that I didn’t have a solid vision yet, explaining that I had been raised to live a by-the-numbers life, the man smiled. “So what are you going to do? Are you going to be one of those guys that just sits down in their cubicle and minds their own business?” Good question.
After I left the gym I thought of all the vague aspirations that have flitted in and out of my mind over the years, most of them unrealized and, even worse, unattempted. The feeling of infinite possibility which casts such a bright glow over the days of one’s youth is now fading. I reprimanded myself with bitterness — if you find initiating conversation with a stranger uncomfortable, how can you expect to do anything of worth in your life? With such an attitude of passivity, how could you live anything but a by-the-numbers life?
You have to be bold. It doesn’t need to be a large step, but you need to take steps. If I ever run into my basketball friend again, I hope I can tell him that I’ve taken some steps.
