MBTI lounge — The INFJ and INTP: cognitive functions and compatibility (from an INFJ perspective)

When examining the INFJ and INTP— their traits and overall way of being — there might be many arias in which the two intuitive types act similarly, especially when it comes to their curiosity and the quirky sides of themselves. They will both spend a lot of time on their creativity and intellectual pursuit, two assets they will use diligently whenever contemplating their core values and interests.

“INFJs and INTPs also tend to have an offbeat sense of humor, and when they’re together they can be as quirky as they want to be without feeling judged. They appreciate and admire each other’s unique ways of viewing the world and are intrigued by each other’s insights.” (Susan Storm, 2017)

But while looking into the differences, hence the relationship and interaction between these two types, there might also be some sophisticated divisions worth taking into account. Just to name one, they might experience some difficulties meeting each other’s needs in day-to-day life. The INTP strive for spontaneity and authenticity, same for the INFJ but in a more predetermined and organized way.

Ni vs Ne

The introspective organizer vs the curious pinball

There might be some friction whenever both types long to stay within their comfort zone. For example, by addressing something that has been noticeable in my own relationship, your Ne-partner might come off as impatient and bad at listening due to their habit of jumping from topic to topic, AKA being a “curious pinball”. The INTP likes to grasp the unknown and study it by the moment, this in a somewhat similar way to an inquisitive child observing snowflakes (coming from me as a more orderly type🙊). Watching each flake for too long would seem useless by them. Because what is the point of persistently observing something that is doomed to disappear in the blink of an eye? In their head it would be more reasonable to go ahead and catch another snowflake, gaining a more accurate picture for each new flake (fact/ information) they manage to catch.

“They use their auxiliary Extraverted Intuition to see things from multiple angles and to bring a curiosity and open-mindedness to all their endeavors.” (Susan Storm, 2017)

The INFJ might have an opposite approach while gathering information. To use the snowflake example again, they will not shift their focus just as fast as the Ne-type would. The INFJ might instead deep dive into their inner perception, linking the object intuitively to something else they have encountered before; for example, that the snowflake looks a lot like a spiderweb, or feels as cold as ice. In other words, they seem to have a more introspective approach when dealing with new knowledge — tuning into the inner world where the information seems collected in an interwoven and organized way. This might be a reasonable explanation why INFJs may experience some hardships while conversing with the INTP — falling deep into thoughts and thinking about something they would like to discuss, but being thrown off by a new topic more so often.

Fe — a shared strive for peace and harmony

Fe is often associated with a person’s preference and striving for a sense of wholeness and harmony in a group, also with the genuine dislike for unnecessary and harmful conflicts and emotions. In this regard, the Fe user might (depending on the ability to think and stratify) try to resolve forcefields of negative emotions, this by tracking down and finding explanations for its root cause and in turn act as a reassuring part of the group.

INFJ doorslamming — a relationship dilemma

The ability to accurately determine other people’s emotions can also work as a resilient tool when it comes to hiding one’s own intentions. When it comes to the INFJ, the “chameleon syndrome” and “INFJ doorslam” helps to explain the often so mentioned part about the INFJ; that they tend to close off and retreat whenever they find an admirer intrusive. Even tho INFJs are seen as warm and easily approachable overall, they still have a divided and closed-off part of themselves — one that could be seen as either resilient or manipulative.

So, what makes this into a relationship dilemman? In my own experience, this trait has been especially visible whenever someone relentlessly has tried to get close to me. Getting to know someone can be an uncomfortable journey at times because deep down we value authenticity greatly — something valuable that can’t be let into someone else’s hands without careful thought. We would in other words have let someone in if we knew that the relationship was meant to be and that the person we encountered was trustworthy. So whenever someone forces themselves into the relationship, a warning siren goes off in our heads. Because for us it is only a sign of a feeble and crippled potential for any greater connection.

Fe in INTP- the undervalued savior of the relationship

So, how was my INTP able to hold the door open? In this, I would like to discuss the INTPs relationship with Fe: a topic that should not be undervalued or simply overlooked , especially when it comes to the INTPs more collected and adaptive side. Because one of the first things that drew my attention towards my partner was no doubt a somewhat peculiar and closed off part of him, one that seemed to be well attuned to subtle cues in social situations (tho trough his own INTP-ish way. He is less eager to “step into other people’s messes”). “Calm down”, “you know how it’s going to be if you act emotionally”, “what you’re saying now sounds peculiar”: are all cited by my partner who is oftentimes quick and direct in his approach towards mine or someone else’s falsities.

The INTP might by this appear as somewhat blunt and harsh and their directness might hit too close to home at times — especially if you are somewhat sensitive (feel that one😶). But in between the lines, I think there exists a well-intended and reassuring intention — one that can not be directly heard and seen, but at least understood. Because there is a high probability that what they deliver has been thought through and polished for quite some time.

“They can feel “put on the spot” when emotional displays are made, but when they receive a letter they can consider their own responses and enjoy their emotions privately without worry.” (Susan Storm, 2017)

Ti — the love of logic

Ti in the INTP

For INTPs, Ti is the most preferred cognitive function and it is fairly visible at a young age. Christian Rivera describes the INTP childhood as a quite enclosed period where the main focus schemes around favorized hobbies — activities which in early life constitutes for a safe yet rewarding playground for their mind. Because nothing else catches their attention and awakens their childlike curiosity more than the pure joy of playing around with ideas and concepts. They may in this regard, by referring to my own experience, emerge themselves in an almost religious (🙊) manner to a specific interest — in which science, facts and logic are used skillfully and oftentimes with an edgy twinkle in their eyes.

For more information about Ti and the INTP, I recommend you checking out Christian Rivera's podcast “Cosmic Calibration”

Ti in the INFJ

The thinking function in the INFJ will work in a similar way. But with Ti being less prioritized, it might appear as somewhat primitive and lame compared to the INTP. This is especially apparent in situations where (so to speak) its older and more sophisticated cousin Ni, together with Fe, hijacks the INFJs mind. This incident may express itself through the more insecure parts of the INFJs inner working, where common sense and inner thoughts become an easy target for various forces; in this case by Ni’s fleetingness and Fe’s judgeful approach to the INFJs individuality. For me, this is oftentimes experienced through crippling guilt for each time I have an (according to myself) inappropriate thought about someone or something. Because what gives me the right to see someone as lazy, toxic or ill-intentioned, or to have goals that don’t contribute to anything? And these thoughts occur even tho authenticity is a quiet central part of one’s personality…

But this is not to say that INFJs have a hard time interpreting facts and logical thinking, or in other words keeping up whith the INTPs strive for knowledge and reasoning. A lot of INFJs, according to Christian Rivera, might even pursue careers that require a lot of tactical and science-oriented thinking, and this not by pure coincidence. If you take a closer look, you might notice a different side to the INFJ. Because while alone and uninterrupted, the INFJ turn their attention towards Ni and Ti — attributes which together work in a quite rational and logical manner. This could be justified through my own experience — this by looking at some of my interests and by examining other’s opinions about me. I have always enjoyed the challenge that science gives and by the way facts and knowledge contribute to one’s understanding of the world, something that has given me stamps like “rational” and “thoughtful”.

Se vs Si — Emerged with vs separated from past experiences

When it comes to the sensing functions, it has been more of a challenge shielding this part from the rest of the cognitive functions. And to begin with, how can one determine how the other person experiences the world? Especially while dealing with types who connect to a minimum with the physical world, like the INFJ and INTP. But in my search for an answer (sound a bit like a scientist😶), I have come to establish one hypothesis which I think will be somewhat useful, namely the way the INFJ and INTP recall events and tell stories.

Different kinds of storytelling

So how could one explain the differences when it comes to recalling events and telling stories? In this part, I will start by explaining the way I interact with my partner — through thoughts and questions that have arisen each time the two of us bring up past experiences. Because while doing so, I have noticed that my partner is quick to steer up a conversation, escorting our minds through different themes as he tries to make sense of the somewhat raveled past (this is probably one of the reasons why it is so hard to distinguish Si from the INTPs other functions. Si might oftentimes work together with Ti while expressing itself). Throughout this process, I recognize that I rarely return insights in the same manner as he does. In contrast to his contemplative way of looking at the past, I oftentimes contribute with foremost mundane responses in these kinds of discussions — complying with few and concise sentences. In other words, I rarely take any further step by jumping into deep conclusions about the past myself — what happened and what the past meant to me.

Maybe this is partly due to the more agreeable part of my personality, or due to what I mentioned before: our differences in interpreting information; the Ne-type being a curious pinball/inquisitive child (🙊). But I do all in all recognize a difficulty in recalling past events (verbally at least), making it more confrontable letting others take care of the storytelling part. And this could in turn be an answer to the question: that the differences lay in the way we express our experiences outwardly, or in other words by the way we are able to express our experiences outwardly. Si is oftentimes explained as a more introspective way of sensing the world (separated from the world/observing), while Se as more in tune with its surrounding (merged with), making it harder for Se-types to synthesize past experiences into thoughts and words.

A last word

Your outlook on the relationship — the potential for a middle ground

Just as much as the differences can cause some friction in day-to-day life, they can work as an enriching source of ideas, knowledge and introspection when the more mundane part of the day is over. Because while stepping outside one's comfort zone and dealing with the more dynamic aspects of the relationship, this means your partner will always be there to present you with something new in addition to your undisturbed and predictable way of being. For me as an INFJ, “the introspective organizer”, this could be as simple as a shift in your usual thinking pattern, all-in-all something that could give birth of a new idea — such as a sudden realization about yourself, your life and your relationship.

While comparing the INTP to an “inquisitive child”, this is not to say that Ne-types are careless and lacking further insights. Their restlessness is more due to their preference for a more open-ended approach to the world. You could say this works as an opportunity for you — as an INFJ or any other Ni-type — to widen your perspective and relax in your somewhat nosy and nearsighted way of looking at new information. The challenges and insights which your INTP gives you can in other words be seen as a special snowflake in your own INFJ-ish way of looking at the world: through introspection and curiosity.