Promiscuity and the Gay World
Tom Flay

LGBT community — I strongly refuse to use “gay world” — is a really open and welcoming environment in many ways.

I always hear people complaining about LGBT clubs and bars — and other spaces — as harmful, promoting unhealthy behaviour and self-destruction. But I’ve been volunteering for a year on a program providing information on risk management on drug use and sex health on LGBT clubs, bars, saunas… and people response is amazing, not only people approaching us, but also the owners of those businesses, who are always eager to host the program and help us in any way.

I always hear men complaining about dating/hookup apps, and how are they treated as meat and a target for casual sex, but every user on those apps, as any other, is just a person, and most of them have a kind and caring behaviour toward others. Of course there is the occasional self loathing, but it is not the norm at all.

We all need to stop perpetuating stereotypes and telling people they should feel bad for the choices they make, and let them make those choices lending a hand in case they need it instead of giving them instructions, warning them, or trying to scare them.

Let’s stop blaming them or blaming others and the cycle of shame and stigma, and give everyone the chance to find and embrace their own identity instead of trying to define ourselves by positioning outside or against the community.

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