Wearing “Feminine” Clothing: Deconstructing My Internalized Misogyny

Although my present self holds the view that clothes have no gender, it cannot be denied that certain pieces of clothing or accessories are traditionally labelled as feminine or categorised as “women’s clothing”.

I distinctly remember an incident at my classmate’s birthday party when I was fourteen. I was wearing an off shoulder lace top, and while I did not put much thought into my outfit, my classmates proceeded to make fun of my choice of clothing upon my arrival. Even though it wasn’t a particularly revealing top and I was comfortable with the amount of skin I was showing, they kept asking if I was “trying to impress someone” and assumed that I was wearing this top for male validation. From that day on, I made a note to myself that I would only wear t-shirts and shorts in the future so that I wouldn’t be made fun of again.

I noticed myself actively rejecting “feminine” aspects of fashion. From the color pink to wearing dresses, there were many items that I did not let myself try on due to an irrational fear of appearing “too girly” in front of people. While I don’t consider myself as someone who has a bold sense of style, nor am I experimentative with fashion, these rules that I had imposed on my younger self strictly limited the ways I would present myself back then. I thought that my refusal to comply with female stereotypes made me different or better, when I was just subconsciously projecting sexist beliefs onto my own self.

Because of this, I have chosen to dress more “feminine” for my body practice. This is an attempt to not only deconstruct the internalized misogyny in myself, but also to step out of my comfort zone and for once, dress the way I want to.