How to Tell a Story at Fray Cafe

The Fray Organization is proud to participate in XOXO. Fray Cafe will be part of XOXO’s Story night on Friday night from 11pm to 1am at Revolution Hall. All XOXO badge holders are invited to attend and participate.

Fray is a celebration of true personal storytelling. Our goal is to create a safe space where we can connect over the stories of our lives. Also, it’s pretty fun. Fray Cafe is a storytelling open mic, which means we depend on you to get up and tell a story. Wanna? Read on.

The Three Rules

Rule 1: Tell a true story.

We’ve got nothing against fiction, but that’s not what Fray is for. We ask all storytellers to tell a true story. Truth is subjective, and that’s okay, so tell the story from your point of view.

Storytelling can be poetic, but this is not a poetry reading. Storytelling can be funny, but this is not the place for a stand up routine. Just tell a true story. The audience will be with you.

Rule 2: Tell a personal story.

A personal story is told from your perspective, about something that happened to you. You’re the protagonist. Don’t tell someone else’s story unless you have their explicit permission (and even then, say why their story is important to you).

Good Fray stories are about times when you were tested, something that made you change your mind, something that, looking back on it now, seems bigger than when it happened.

Rule 3: You’ve got five minutes.

Each open mic participant has five minutes. The time limit is a gift for both you and the audience. Not every story is going to be interesting to every audience member. That’s okay. Knowing that it’ll only last five minutes keeps them in their seats until the next one.

The five minute limit is good for the storytellers as well. It gives us incentive to cut out the extraneous details and get to the point. It helps us focus on the important parts of the story.

The Carrot: If you stick to those three rules, you’ll receive an audience full of bright eyes and open hearts, ready to welcome you to the stage and really listen to what you have to say, and prepared to applaud like thunder when you’re done. You may also get some parting gifts.

The Stick: If you break one of the three rules, you’ll have to wear the Boa of Shame. The emcee (yours truly) will come place it on your shoulders. That’s your cue to leave the stage. If you don’t, further countermeasures may be deployed.

Tips for Storytellers

DOs

• Skip the setup. You don’t have to explain how old you were, where you lived, or any other details that aren’t relevant to the story. Just launch into the story and the audience will follow you.
• Be reflective. The best stories balance two goals: personal storytelling and emotional reflection. Don’t just tell us a story, tell us why it matters to you.
• Be confident. No one else knows the story you’re about to tell as well as you do, so own it!
• Have energy. Excitement is contagious.
• Make eye contact. Resist the urge to stare at your feet, no matter how interesting they seem.
• Above all, enjoy yourself! If you’re having fun, so is everybody else.

DON’Ts

• Don’t tell your Life Story. Focus on one moment that has a larger meaning in hindsight.
• Don’t talk about the web. We all know what it’s like to be online. We don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes. Tell us about that.
• Don’t bring paper. This is a telling, not a reading. Paper puts a wall between you and the audience. You won’t have the light to read it anyway.
• Don’t dither. Avoid using delay words like “um, uh, well” too often. I know that one’s hard. Don’t beat yourself up if one, uh, slips in.
• Don’t plug your startup. That’s just gauche.

The Process

Before the Event

• Get inspired. The best way to come up with a story is to hear other people’s stories. Listen to some past Fray events to get warmed up.
• Practice. Once you have a story in mind, practice by telling it to a friend. Don’t worry about the time limit, just try to tell it as you would casually. Get their feedback. Notice where they laugh. Ask them if they were confused at any point.
• Practice some more. If you feel good about the story, practice it a few more times alone. Once you’re feeling confident in it, try it with a timer. If you’re over 5 minutes, look for things you can leave out to tighten it up. If you’re under 5 minutes, you’re ready!

At the Event

• Arrive early. We’ll start taking signups at 10pm and stop when we think we’ve got enough for two hours. Be prepared to write down a tweet-length description of your story.
• Don’t leave. Once you sign up, sit near the stage. We don’t put people on stage in the order they signed up. If we look for you and you’re not there, you’ll lose your slot.
• Be a great audience member. Give the storytellers before and after you the kind attention and applause you’d like to receive.

Other Notes

• There is no theme, other than true personal stories.
• Like the rest of XOXO, the entire evening will be recorded and released online after the event. If this is not okay with you, you can opt out on the signup sheet, but there’s no guarantee that someone else won’t be recording.
• This event, along with the rest of the festival, must comply with the XOXO Code of Conduct.
• Photography is okay, so long as you’re not using a flash, and not disturbing anyone.

And Finally

Wow. You read all the way to the end. You’re fantastic.

If you have any additional questions, comments, or ideas, drop them in the XOXO Slack in the #fraycafe channel, or email me at “fraying” at the gmails dot com.

Thanks for reading. See you in the Fray!