Last year around this time I pulled off quite the stunt I’m regretting today. I deleted a precious archive I had been working on from my Instagram. There were multiple reasons that build up one primary reason of why I deleted a huge amount of pictures, I didn’t like the way they all looked together. I was challenging myself to post a picture everyday and I would catch myself posting something I really didn’t like but since I wanted to keep up with my record I’d post it. Then there were times where I wanted to post something but I wouldn’t because I didn’t think the look of it would fit my previous post. If I wasn’t sure if it would fit in right I would post it without a caption and instantly look to see how it would look in my profile and if I didn’t like it I would immediately delete it. By now you’re making the assumption that I took Instagram very serious in which I did.

As much as I hate the word aesthetic, that’s really what I wanted to establish. I think it’s awesome that some photographers have a style to them that you could distinguish and that’s what I wanted for myself. At this point I was clearly trying to mimic somebody else’s ideas to stand out, clearly not the best way to approach such a thing. I kept trying to edit my pictures a certain way to see if I could find some similarities within my work that would help me find what I was going for. I couldn’t find a style within my pictures and it became such a frustrating thing. That’s when I decided I would delete most of my pictures and start off clean, but I was wrong for deleting them.

I couldn’t find a style within my pictures and it became such a frustrating thing

I was wrong for deleting them because since I did that I have come to realize what unites my work and what my style is, is that I created it. I was so focused on making everything seem a certain way that I was curating so much of who I am for the way my Instagram would look. I wanted to stand out but failed to realize that being myself is what would get me to do so. I wish I hadn’t deleted the archive because looking back at all those pictures, they were so good. They all look great to me now because I have a different approach to the way I share my work.

Even though I regret deleting the archive, I am happy that I did not wait until I figured out what my style is to take photographs and share them. To be frankly honest I don’t really know what my style truly is, I just know that whatever I’m making is honest and it all comes together because I made it.

(check out the deleted archive via my website) alfredocontreras.com

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