7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are

Dare to Defy
Sep 2, 2018 · 4 min read
“silhouette photography of man standing near sea” by Paul Gilmore on Unsplash

Accepting the reality of your life sounds like it should be easy enough. But many, many people hold to a different version. It may be based in regret, disappointment, denial, or just waiting for something better — a promotion, for the kids to be grown, retirement, whatever. Failing to connect with reality is why some of us have pants in the closet that haven’t fit in years. More significantly, it keeps people in unfulfilling jobs or even in the wrong profession entirely.

There are few better things you can do for yourself than giving up the fictional version of your life and learning to accept yourself, your life, and your reality. Even if your situation is terrible, the first step in improving it is acknowledging it for what it is.

Becoming more accepting of yourself and loving yourself for the fine person that you really are can lead you to greater happiness and a more fulfilling life.Here are the six ways to cope with reality — and here’s how you can change it into a reality you do want.

Accept Yourself

Acceptance is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of who you are. That means you acknowledge all of yourself — the good and the things that need improvement. For most of us, self-acceptance can be hard. We tend to be critical of ourselves, but there are a number of ways to learn to accept yourself and your life. It all begins with your state of mind.

Be good to yourself

Do things that inspire you daily. Make a list — grab your notepad and draw up a list of things you can do today to make you feel good. Do something every single day that makes you feel good, whether it is changing your thought patterns or taking a bath while reading a magazine in the tub. Maybe it’s getting an extra hour of sleep or staying late.

Accept that you are indeed the source of many wonderful things. If you need help remembering what they are from time to time, keep making your feel good lists. Keep coming back to the love that is inherently yours.

Accept that struggle will always be part of our reality

Don’t shy away from challenges but wade into the struggle and get comfortable with operating and living there. Struggles are a way of life, and we have to learn to confront them. And you never know : something the most challenging things can hold the greatest opportunity to success.

“eyeglasses and cosmetic bottle” by gabrielle cole on Unsplash

Be thankful

When you are really bad at something, you should be happy about it. Because it means you must be very good at something else.

We are all gifted in something. Be thankful for everything. The things you are bad at, may not be so bad after all. Accept your limitations and see the opportunities they bring, not the obstacles — embrace both the good and the bad.

Focus on your strong attributes

Instead of looking in the psychological mirror and picking out all the things you don’t like about yourself, pick out the things you do. Focus on your strength that have served you well during the course of your life.

Everyone is strong in certain areas. Maybe you’re born nurturer or mentor. Perhaps you’re good under pressure and shine in stressful situations. Are you someone that people like to be around because you smile and make them feel good? Focus on these qualities.

Don’t compare yourself to other people

You can’t ever accept yourself if you compare yourself to others and feel you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or whatever enough. You’ll always look at yourself as more subordinate and under par.

You’ll always find someone who can do something better than you. However, you’ll also find things that you can do better than other people, so in the end it’s a wash. Everyone has strengths in different areas. Embrace your uniqueness. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Just be youself.

Find your inner circle

Rather than fitting in with the crowd, why not find people or groups with people who are just like you? You won’t have to try to fit in because you are already a fit. Find people who have the same interests or similar personalities as you. Hang out with people who will accept you for who you are.

It’s easier to accept yourself when you are with people who are just like you and supportive of your quirks. If you have friends or colleagues who don’t accept you, let them go and move on with your life.

In changing the way you think about yourself, you’ll also change the way you see the world.

Every day opens up new opportunities for you, and by utilizing positive thinking, you can make a real difference!

Dare to Defy

Written by

Your daily dose of upgrading yourself

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade