More or less exactly what I think of the whole thing, with two important caveats. One:

“…and there are no non-player characters.”

Au contraire: the lost boys believe that everyone except themselves is, in fact, a non-player character.

And two, that Milo’s done. I predict that within five years he’ll have wormed his way, if not back into fame, then back into some position of behind-the-scenes power. He has the tenacity and ability to squeeze into small spaces of the world’s most radiation-proof cockroach.