This uncomfortable approach to language learning will help you to outperform 90% of native speakers
After working with hundreds of clients from around the world, helping them to become their most articulate and expressive selves — at work, socially and even romantically- there is one ever present truth that strikes me as the root cause of their shortcomings in all three areas.
Humans are creatures of habit.
Depending on whether said habit is a good or a bad one, it can either consolidate our existing progress or calcify our negative behaviours.
What habits can’t do is lead us to new destinations… at least not initially.
Like a fish out of water
Over the course of my working life (it would be a stretch to call it a career) the various unrelated jobs I’ve held have shown me how uncomfortable people feel when they feel out of place.
- I’ve seen twitchy young British men prostrating themselves over which expensive bottle of wine to buy for their claret-swigging, prospective father-in-law, in a shop full of irriatingly uninformative French labels.
- I’ve watched bullish pharmaceutical CEOS from the U.S blush when shown up in front of their vacationing families, unable to answer a question not related to their work.
- And i’ve shared in the discomfort of analytically-minded students of English as they grapple with the torturous nuances of a language that can’t be solved like the empircal formulas they are so used to.
No wonder we like staying in our lanes more and more as we get older, creating a positive feedback loop for ourselves that validates our areas of competence that we have worked so hard to establish over time.
The problem is that the only guarantee in this life is that nothing is permanent and change is unavoidable.
Being able to predict what will happen next and to mitigate the risks and dangers of the unknown is a tendency that has served humans well in the past.
(But past experience is no indicator of future success…)
Be outstanding at standing out
There are many reasons why the levels of successful first and second-generation immigrants to the United States are disproportionate to those whose Anglican and Catholic families have been embedded in American society for one or more centuries.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Natalie Portman, Gary Veynerchuck, M. Knight Shyamalan, Mila Kunis, Steve-O, Nicki Minaj, Henry Kissinger, Diane Kruger, Jackie Chan, Mila Jovovich
A veritable cross-section if ever there were one… but what does it tell us?
None of them were born in countries that have English as a first language.
Yet, somehow, they were all able to carve out unmistakable identities in English that made them instantly recognisable.
Although physical attributes and athletic prowess have played a part, in some instances, for their success, none of these people would have reached the dizzy heights of fame that they have were it not for their *unique* command of the English language.
Jackie Chan, Henry Kissinger and Arnold Schwarzenegger in particular have enjoyed multi-faceted legacies precisely because their English was not 100% fluent.
Instead of waiting to attain the elusive goal of ‘fluency’ they began their international careers in earnest, irrespective of the rules and convention of grammar and pronunciation.
In fact, not knowing how to speak English perfectly was the key to the lasting impression that they made on the world.
Of course, as a recovering perfectionist myself, I do understand the compulsive tendencies that my cadre battles with when it comes to accuracy and self-worth, embarrasment and social integration.
As a non-native speaker, working or travelling overseas you will be undoubtedly corrected even when you didn’t ask for it by a monolingual beta whose worldview ends where their belly meets their belt.
Remember that these irritating exchanges are a reflection on your unwanted interlocuteur and the preservation of their own ego rather than your competencies or boundaries.
Swerve lanes like a boyracer
The limits of my language are the limits of my world — Ludwig Wittgenstein
This quote has been heard regularly in recent years as a clarion call for multi-lingualism in an age of border-less travel.
I see it differently.
Like the young men buying wine to impress their girlfriends families, or the Gen-X executives who, defined by their 60 hour work weeks, pass what free time they have with the same golf buddies that they see in the office every day, native speakers feel uncomfortable when they don’t have the vernacular to express themselves on a certain topic.
They shy away from the unfamiliar and keep strictly to their lanes because the fear of being shown up in front of everyone else for their ignorance is just too great.
Correspondingly, the self-imposed limits of their world therefore define the limits of their language.
When you swerve lanes freely and unapolagetically through curiositiy and a willingness to get it wrong you acquire a linguistic dexterity that 90% of native speakers could only ever dream of.
Being in uncomfortable waters (a job interview that seems way beyond your skill-level, an impromptu speech at a public event, a date with someone for whom English IS their first language) is precisely what force you to up your game and will give you the cutting edge over those who play it safe.
In this way, you become, in the words of Nassim Taleb, anti-fragile — because the language is not a code for you to crack but an opportunity to find connections, new neural pathways and original, creative expression that evades the vast majority who stick to the script of their monotonous lives.
Struggling vines produce the sweetest fruit
Not being a native speaker of the worlds most spoken language, therefore is not a hindrance to your personal and professional development; an obstacle that has to be overcome just to get back on a level footing with native speakers, but quite the reverse.
It is a blessing in disguise that will allow you to access the depths of a language that most of its users don’t even think to access themselves.
When you combine associative thinking, linguistic dexterity and the untrammeled confidence of someone who is not 100% ready but thinks :
“Fuck it — i’ll do it anyway”
… you become an unstoppable force of nature.
By the time your sleepy, native English-seaking detractors have clocked your grammatical error and raised a finger they’ll already be in a dust cloud in your rear view mirror.
My name is Freddie Kift. I help non-native speakers of English to communicate like the top 10% and with more ease and panache than most native speakers. Here are my top articles below:
7 Nifty tricks to overcome fear and master public speaking
This skill will leave your competition in the dust
If you want to speak your target language like a native speaker
