Obama Asked to Stay On As President Until New Guy is “Brought Up to Speed”
According to White House sources certain high profile members of both major political parties have asked President Obama to spend more time training President Elect Trump, and extend his out date of January 20th back possibly into March or even April.
“Although Mr. Trump was chosen by the American people, at least a minority of them in certain states, there’s a certain level of proficiency the United States needs from its Commander in Chief,” said White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest “And President Obama is committed to helping his replacement get up to speed.”
President Obama was spotted muttering to himself in the Presidential break room about having to “change his whole vacation around.”
“Of course I’m absolutely ready to assist President Elect Trump in any way I can, but… Well I’d planned to really hand things over by early January and kind of coast to the finish.”
Several aides reported that President Obama was despondent at the sheer ineptitude at the President Elect. “It’s like he didn’t even read the orientation packet!” the President was overheard through the oval office door by Donna from Accounting.
The President has reportedly been working longer, and longer hours as the White House has been flooded with calls from not only prominent members of the US business community, religious & civic organizations but concerned world leaders, various PTAs, rotary clubs, and generally pensive soccer moms. “No way am I working past my notice. I don’t care if he’s got it or not. It’s not gonna be my headache anymore!” Obama was overheard after Kellyanne Conway saying that people needed to “look into (Trump’s) heart”.
“He’s not even President and he’s making us all bust our ass putting out his freakin’ fires! Someone needs to take away his damn Twitter Account! I’m done. You can’t fix dumbass.” Vice President Joe “Joe Beezy” Biden said in the White House cafeteria while he and the President were on their lunch break.
“Yo, this is some bullshit B. I got my mixtape about to drop. I was gonna turn over all this madness to Kaine, and Pence can’t even get his ass up here from Indiana!” Biden said harshly under his breath across a lunchroom table as the two men shared a quick bite before being summoned back to the office to go over their 30 day action plan with the American People about how they would effectively teach Trump that the Bill of Rights isn’t an actual bill he needs to pay off.
On a smoke break out back by the employee parking lot of the White House President Obama was spotted with House Speaker Paul Ryan who implored the former Constitutional Scholar and Law Professor to extend his resignation a little bit.
“You can work from home. We’ll list you as a managerial consultant or something. You’ll just be on call,” said Speaker Ryan as President Obama shook his head. “Sorry. It’s not my problem. I’ve already gotten calls from Japan, and the UK to run their countries. I might even run a Caribbean nation for a little while. Just something easy. Michelle’s already on my ass about working too much.”
But after President Elect Trump made a bumbling call to Mexico to put in an order for chimichangas “before the wall goes up” President Obama was called in to smooth things over. Having been relegated to the guest bedroom by an agitated first lady, the stress has taken a toll on his home life.
“That Barack is a great guy. First rate. Very smart. I’m gonna offer him a job as as executive in one of my casinos. He’d be perfect managing a curbside check in or valets. Great people skills. And after he’s proven himself I have no doubt I could expect big things from him,” Trump said without a hint of irony or self awareness.