One Year of #ColleagueQuotes

Eavesdropping on an east-coast design team

  • Feb. 27, 2017:
    “In college, my friend’s dad neutered their cat on a TV stand. First he roofied him. Flushed his nuggets down the toilet.”
  • Dec. 2, 2016:
     “Gave my sister a hot-foot once. She burned her big toe a little. Perfectly timed, when I threw the match in her boot.”
  • Feb. 9, 2017:
    “That guy who hands out #Faygo when it’s hot… he’s a thirst-responder.” #icp
  • Mar. 29, 2017:
    “My Mimi got gram-wasted, which is like two drinks.”
  • Mar. 7, 2017:
    “I’m self-conscious when I wear this hoodie. It smells cheap. It smelled like child labor when I got it.”
  • Mar. 2, 2017:
    “You know, Trump doesn’t drink alcohol.” 
    “Why would he need to? He’s drunk on power.”
  • Feb. 8, 2017:
     “Hunger. It’s what’s for breakfast.”
  • Feb. 2, 2017:
     “Dickish is as dickish does.” — Sean
  • Jan. 13, 2017:
    “Throw some panthers on there.” — Daley
  • Jan. 10, 2017:
     “My carrots are emitting gross warmth.” — Alyx
  • Dec. 6, 2016:
     “Lungbutter.”
  • Dec. 6, 2016:
     “We are machines. We’re nothing but flesh machines.”
  • Nov. 18, 2016:
     “It’s just gaggles of bagel fiends out there.”
  • Aug. 31, 2016:
     “A good seizure is like… a cleanse. A muscle cleanse.”
  • Aug. 30, 2016:
     “That hit my skull so hard, I got goosebumps.”
  • Aug. 25, 2016:
     “The midwest happens, y’know.”
  • Aug. 5, 2016:
    Nate: “How do you feel about violins?” 
    Sean: “Violins beget violins.”
  • June 27, 2016:
     “Me ’n’ Brian will start dancin’ — and we’re not talkin’ the do-si-do.”
  • June 27, 2016:
     “It’s like Fight Club for your colon.” Re: new Burger King hot dogs
  • June 16, 2016:
     “Should our motorcycle club be design-themed? We could be the Sons of Swatches.”
  • June 10, 2016:
    “Want a rum ball?”
    “Sure.” 
    “This tastes like what a nail salon smells like.”
  • June 9, 2016:
     “Always GREP a superscript.” #adobe #indesign #typography
  • May 20, 2016:
     “I wish we had skylights in here, but they would just show people’s butts. So I guess I take it back.”
  • May 12, 2016:
     “Guys, I’m pulling a slow one.” — Greg
  • Apr. 29, 2016:
     “You’re like all of the Stooges in one.” — Jack to Sean
  • Apr. 17, 2016:
     “My mom has a goat. Named Cletus.” — Audrey
  • Apr. 25, 2016:
     “Why do we have so many goat vectors? Who needed to use so many goats?”

Patrick Freebern is a graphic and web designer in Burlington, Vermont. He enjoys The Lapse and RISK! show storytelling podcasts, bonfires, watching a guilty amount of HGTV, camping with his 4Runner, and eavesdropping on colleagues.

Photo courtesy of Ryan McGuire.

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