On Nigerian Men… and Women

I'm starting to think, all in all, most of the popular problems with Nigerian men, stem from deep rooted misogyny. Misogyny that has permeated every man’s father and will permeate every man’s son. Just how well that terrible practice seeps into any man is their own responsibility. It’s really the same case of parents not quite understanding how childhood influences work, or how influences work in general. Don’t want your child to swear? Simple, don’t swear yourself, it’s not as if you will always be the childs model human being, and they would obviously never absorb anything that you didn’t put in front of them yourself. Y’know because you live in an isolated cave separated from the outside world, the world with numerous people with their own experiences and opinions. Your child will hear other people swear, he’ll watch other people swear, his friends might swear, and really all that is in between your child and the word, “fuck” is if he decides for himself, that he will or will not swear. I digress. Point is even if one says “not all Nigerian men”, there’s still the general misogyny and unless any man really decides for himself his principles and actively passes them down then there’s not real solution, because Nigeria calls itself a Christian nation. This Christian Nation has backed all this misogyny by yet another great source of misogyny known as The Holy Bible. The book is used to teach young children, how women must behave and how much men should contribute to keeping the patriarchy alive. The women teach it, the men teach it, the women suffer, and everybody gets biased. When the women talk about the men in their life, father, brother, lovers, it’s there. When the men talk about the women in their life, it’s there, oh I didn’t forget about their mother’s and sister’s, but here’s the thing I’ve noticed, None of the men of the patriarchy are ever about to do some misogynistic thing and think “oh would it be cool if some other man did this to my mother or to my sister?” and after thinking that decide not to do it. It doesn’t happen. That’s terrible. I keep hearing men blame the women for their misogyny and then the women blame their fellow women and then the women blame themselves and justify terrible behavior. That’s terrible.

But that’s on fucking Twitter week-in, week-out no less than four times a week. Even if you say Nigeria is poor, young yoruba teenagers with smartphones will not see all the slander, teenage Akwa Ibom girls will not have their self-esteem crushed before they are 20. The movies will tell them everything, the modern sterotypes will take from the movies and the movies from the stereotypes. I digress. Men must be responsible for their own actions, we can’t continue to accept that they will act in a certain way and that’s just the way of life and while that is trying to happen we must accept that in Nigeria, misogyny isn’t just the men’s problem, it’s everyone’s problem, because patriarchal societies don’t produce women that are mean’t to question the patriarchy, they produce women who are taught to comply…by their own mothers.

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