Membo Marketing List — 2015

12 Types of People You’ll Run Into In The Mission

The Mission is one of the more chameleonic neighborhoods in San Francisco. Pick a day and the area has switched into a hot bed for something: anti-Dropbox sentiment, proper burrito formulas, tenants rights and more. With so much stuff going on, you’re bound to run into some characters on every block. Frankly, this is why we love it (the great bars, cafes, theaters and shopping can stay also).

Here are 12 character types you may meet in the Mission these days. Do you fall into any of these categories?

  1. Dolores Park staple

You may not be a Mission resident, or even regular, but you sure know the ins and outs of an afternoon out at Dolores. You know to bring cash for Coconut, hiss at people throwing footballs and to never bring a car, because who has 6 hours to look for parking? Somehow, day drinking is a mistake you continue to make.

2. Member of the Legion of Broke-Ass Stuart

Sardonic San Franciscan Broke-Ass Stuart has outlined the best of the Mission frequently over the years, and you never deviate from his suggestions. He may be running for Mayor now, but we can bet that should he win, his first acts will be saving Elbo Room and moving City Hall somewhere around 16th & Valencia.

3. Mexican food know-it-all

Yeah, we read the Nate Silver thing too, and no, we don’t want to hear which place is better than La Taqueria. Everyone has their favorite spot to snag a burrito, but you insist your hole-in-the-wall rules all.

4. Textbook hipster

The Mission and Brooklyn are sister cities only in that no two areas in the world are more synonymous with the hipster…movement? Trend? Clique? Whatever you want to call it, you are a card-carrying member of the Church of Flannel, a card you store conveniently in the spokes of your fixie bike if your ironic overalls are in your freezer being cleaned.

5. The “Remember the good old days?” type

“Last bastion of authentic San Francisco culture!” “The final neighborhood frontier!” “Super sketchy area!” Descriptions of the Mission have certainly changed over the decades. You’ve been a resident for a long time, hate pink mustaches on cars, know a bit of history about the actual Mission itself, and can also recall when you had to go visit your friends in other parts of town, as they wouldn’t dare come to you.

6. Indecisive Barcrawler

For some, picking a go-to taqueria might be doable, but when it comes to selecting a favorite Mission bar, you just pack it in and say forget it. With so many classics within a 3–5 block span, why not just have one at all of them? You’re the prettiest person at the bar ball, and you’re going to ensure that you save a dance for everyone.

7. New-fangled foodie

The Mission District has helped put San Francisco on the map as a worldwide culinary capital, and you like to sample the best of the lot. From Yamo to Foreign Cinema, it doesn’t matter — you know that if its in the Mission, it’s going to be pretty good.

8. Marina transplant

You nodded off on the 22 bus and ended up in a strange, exotic land that looked a hell of a lot different than your typical Marina surroundings. Once you got past the lack of brunch being served and acclimated yourself, you found that Valencia and Mission side streets felt exciting and new. Have you made it back to your island in the sun?

9. Vociferous bike lane proponent

San Francisco isn’t a big city. While the hills don’t always make for the best riding, the Mission is far easier to navigate on a bike. As someone who is aware of this fact, you know full well how hairy a Friday night on the roads can be with everyone trying to find a spot to park. Bike lanes do make everything easier, and you go to bat for more green lanes whenever you can.

10. Coffee connoisseur

Between Ritual, Four Barrel and Philz, there is a surfeit of delicious java in the Mission. Starbucks fans need not apply — your ventis and grandes are down in the Financial District. The Mission is reserved for one-cup-at-a-time brewing that always results in a lip-smacking experience.

11. Bookstore backer

The Mission is spoiled with great bookstores, and while changes in the city have threatened some of them with closure, you’ve helped spots like Borderlands keep its doors open with memberships and sponsorships. While you might keep the Kindle your parents nearby and fully charged, you know how much character bookstores give to the neighborhoods they serve and recognize that losing them would be a travesty.

12. Techies

Someone must’ve put a tip on LinkedIn about the Mission being the “it” place to live and hang out, because they’re everywhere. We all saw the Dropbox soccer field video — what gives? Boy, those startups. What are we going to do about them? We’re happy to skewer them right here…oh.

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