Genesis 1:1–2

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. 2 And the Earth was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

I’m not entirely certain what I hope to achieve by taking the Bible and rewriting it out, one verse at a time, on a blog.

Part of it, one might say, is merely a natural evolution of my rich history of starting long, ambitious projects I’m destined to never finish. Who could forget that time I set out to eat and review all 7,500 types of apples?

Looking at this objectively, even I have to admit that few things come to mind more laborious and less likely to be completed than a line-by-line exploration of a 1,200 page book considered by most to land somewhere on the scale between “boring” and “whack as fuck.”

The part of me that thinks it knows everything is pretty sure that what I’m secretly doing is trying to go back to the scene of the crime, to analyze the evidence and see what it was about this book that led me to such a regrettable state in my adolescence. What was it about Christianity, that it could turn an otherwise-normal boy into such a pussy that he would request his basketball coach turn off Species at a team pizza party, because “God would not be thrilled with me watching this?”

Another school of thought in my head tells me that I just need a writing project to sink my teeth into, and this book, this Bible, is nothing if not teeth-sink-in-able.

Maybe it’s all of these things, plus one more thing, and also none of them.

I don’t know what I’m doing, and that doesn’t matter as much as it might seem. For all we know, “in the beginning,” God didn’t know what he was doing either. It’s not like He had a ton of “creating the heaven and the Earth experience” at that point. Based on where we’ve ended up, I have a sneaking suspicion He might have just been making it up as he went along too.