abusive men, abusive women, and the folks who support them.
yes. i dated a somali man who was emotionally abusive (not to be confused with all somali people lol). as soon as he realized he wasn’t gonna make any money off of me ? and didn’t want to deal with a mental difference, caused from the same sort of childhood abuse he suffered as a kid, at the hands of a patriarchal man? he jetted. found another woman to oppress. because when you are oppressed, and you are a man? the easiest thing to do? is to oppress women.
if he jetts from his new wife, that’s his business. using women for his come up is the name of the game. i dated another dude? did the same exact thing. another man, abused. who then oppressed women.
it’s a sick cycle. but i don’t feel bad. because i was honest about my writing (the somali dude knew. he knew i met the dude i was writing to. darryl. i didn’t sleep with darryl, like dream hampton did. i told my man, i think that dude darryl is trying to destroy me. he keeps on posting subliminal things…idk what’s happening?! i’m sick… and what did my man do? jett to the next chic, sleep with her lol, make baby after baby, steal her art and tell her it was inappropriate cuz it has evolved to include dancehall and less than covered women — so what?! lol women are FREE to wear and express themselves any fuckin way they WANT — and, to tell me it was all in my head, his betrayal lol), i told him about the abuse that i suffered as a kid. and about the way women should be treated (one wife only. you are not entitled to collections of women).
not long after he bounced (like a coward), i checked myself into a psyche ward. i got a diagnosis. got better. spent years with my legs closed, dating no one, and then remet ol boy. someone i knew from howard many many years before, who i would not date because while i liked his 5%er philosophy? i felt it was extremely oppressive to women. i was not about to deny my white mother, or to become one of his many “earths”. he swore that he wasn’t the same dude he had been all those years ago. and since people change? i gave him the benefit of the doubt. hesitant. but he begged, after months and months of just talking on the phone. i told him about being bipolar (upfront and honest so he could make an INFORMED decision) because it’s not RIGHT to get into relationships under false pretenses (or to sleep with men to get money to make your films, or to promote your poetry. it’s abusive to MEN!) i asked him if he could handle it? and he said “yes”. come to find out? that dude had a whole shitload of people he damaged. shocked. and so hurt, by such horrible betrayal. again.
so ya’ll can do the subliminal twitter posting all you wanna (i see you asha bandele. find a post about somalis. cuz you know about the writing too... lol i’m sure dream hampton told you).
those men can’t hurt me anymore. the strange irony is, your small little crew of women, who talk all about women and our rights? those who will support a well known abusive poet, all day long. but never speak on what he did to his youngest son, or other women. similar to my dad (sorry dad. i forgive you. but you have to tell the truth to get free) *tears*…
those women will support patriarchal marginalized abusive men — who have been abused? over egalitarian marginalized writing for freedom women — who have been abused. because secretly, those women are patriarchs. they are more concerned with their OWN power and success, and protecting abusive men? than they are in freedom and justice for everyone. equally. and probably mad?
that i won’t EVER do black only. it’s not my reality. and truthfully, it ain’t dream hampton’s either. she stole a film from a marginalized black woman poet, who then spoke up about it. bravely. they were supposed to have an all black crew. that didn’t happen. because black only, apparently, doesn’t make films. just like it doesn’t make sense for humanity. lol
ya’ll gotta live with that. not me.
i’m gettin free. lol and it’s the last time i’m speaking on this.
cuz i am a damn GOOD woman. i don’t lie, cheat, and steal. i don’t have one night stands. i don’t spread my legs for money. and i don’t fuck with other people’s partners. got it? good. lol