also, you are going to let that woman GO!

SHE WANTS HER BODY — BACK! and she’s going to get, just that. and, a KING! a loyal, faithful, honest man who does not abuse women, for any reason.

enough with ALL ya’ll LAMES!!!

i’m sorry if i hurt you, i didn’t understand. i thought you were trying to KILL me. even WHILE i thought this? i was promoting you to my kids. hurt, and angry. but my girls needed examples to follow, for how to get free. because it’s real out here for them. as a teacher, i was shocked between what we did in class, and the poetry they wrote outside of it. in safe spaces. and i thank my old principal so much for allowing it. my old principal? has four daughters. no sons. lol girls need to know that they never have to conform to anything because that is a man’s desire, you don’t have to share a man. and if he already has a good woman? someone who will ride and die for him with her OWN movement? he’s not allowed to run. he’s not allowed to accumulate women for his own selfish purposes. i wrote and wrote to him about what was happening. i told him i needed his help. he could have cared less. he only wrote back when i said,

if you do this? hurt another woman? you will be giving 75% of everything you make —off my blood, sweat, and tears, off the next woman’s pain — back to the people? he threatened me,

with the police.

not once did he offer to help me in the situation i’m in. and everytime a man does something foul to me, after i have supported him? i get sick, manic. i gotta work on that. forgiving them. but i know why it happens…and i am angriest with him, for painting me as “sick” without even trying to acknowlege what the reason for that is.

let that man figure out what he needs to do with one wife and the collective of women he already has. he is not allowed to use you too, for your resources. you are worth MORE than that. and you care. men are not allowed to use us, dump us, and keep it moving without one thought to cleaning up their messes. he was sooo excited when he thought i would go for it… “oh what is she, your second wife?” and his face lit up like the sun, knowing damn well, he was my only man. and that he was abusing me, emotionally. over, and over, and over again.

but i knew, i would go through hell before i would allow the pain of that. and none of his sisters have a man with more than one wife. and they east afrikan.

they are educated women.

they wouldn’t allow it. and he knows it.

they are educated women. his mother had to have sooooooooooooooooo (that’s 17 o’s) many kids. just to keep her man, in that culture. on the verge of suicide. she tried. so she came to america and made SURE her daughters got the education, she was not allowed to have.

would i love to live in the lap of luxury? of course. when you’re poor and actually REALLY struggling? have no family to come help you? no women you can live off of to “start a business” ha! you think about having something to call your own…that’s why the white dude who is my FRIEND, can never be touched. because he actually supports women and doesn’t abuse their bodies. he has, all sisters. lol but more than that, way more, i want the earth back — out of corporate control. if i have to struggle for the rest of my life, like i ALWAYS have with a mental illness that makes it that much harder (and i’m so ANGRY, about the conditions that caused it) just to live? so be it. there is never any need for anybody to have more money than they know what to do with, and keep it all to themselves. me and mines is not enough for me.

men will respect women who are always on the fringes of everything, who do everything, everywhere? or die, trying.

um, let me also say this. i KNOW that i’m BLACK. LMAO! i just want to claim ALL parts of me and take my own damn voice back. i’m not throwing my mother under no bus!!! she was oppressed and worked HARD all her life to handle her business. there’s no confusion there. at all. i UNDERSTAND what it means to be oppressed because of the color of your skin and/or hair texture, shape of your eyes, etc…i have always been, um, ME? lol i’m not passable. i don’t look in the mirror and think: damn! i wish i looked more like a white person. i just get mad, when people act like being closer to white with lighter skin or straighter hair? is better. it isn’t. and i’m not trying to change a thing about me but quitting coke (it’s evil, i know), and stopping these damn american spirits, the cigarettes — not the people who fight against oppression. lol

i also am aware that you can’t judge ANYONE by the color of his/her skin. there are all kinds of people in the world of different colors and if you start to judge them by them? you are in. for. it! i did that. over and over again. he’s a BLACK man!! he’s righteous!!! he cares about me because he understand my struggle (do what you choose, but that is a BIG mistake). race was created TO keep people oppressed. we are all guilty of buying into it. and i understand that too. that’s why i get so conflicted, writing about it.

because i know that RACISM, is REAL. i experience it in overt and subtle ways at least 10 times a day. why you think i stay in my house?! lol

but, race cannot tell you anything about a person’s character. we gotta do two things at the same time, in my mind. address and fight racism? and let the world know your skin color has nothing to do with WHO YOU ARE, as a homo sapien sapien! lol it’s tough. but possible.

(and i DO think it’s funny if you name your kid: alize or hennessey

or tikal. i was like, oh no you didn’t! method man!! lol moms was rollin!!!

now we know what you were on when you were gettin it IN, choose names for you children — carefully! hahahaha!)

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