“Black Jesus”

Is a woman. All natural. No makeup. No weave. No relaxer. No texturizer. No plastic surgery. Just a tan. From swimming. In the ocean.

“Jesus” doesn’t walk on water. It’s an artistic metaphor. For a bunch of mentally “ill” muthafuckaz who wrote the Torah, Bible, and Qu’raan.


And you can walk on water, maybe, in art.

But not in life. You gotta swim. And you don’t know how.

3 times. Not listening to his teachers.

Does Beyoncé have a high school diploma?

“Bee ERICA” ????


Happy New Year!

Much love and many blessings for a healthy, and — honest — 365.25 (do not invite two women to your crib who both think they staying, then ask my boy to play it off for when we about to bounce like ask this one to walk out with ya’ll when you jett and…and do what exactly? What do you want us to do T? You think this chic’s stupid? She been talkin to your other jump off all night! 😳


Men and they hoe moment games. Which you can’t say to my boy, cuz he’s like, nah. Bitches just as foul. Ratchet hoes. You the smartest chic I know. Now. These niggaz spittin game at you hard. You like a semi polite — concrete — wall.


Him: You fine as shit yo! And mad educated, plus you got a good job? You be writin love poems and shit? You like one of those spoken word love jones chics? I would love to wake up to you readin me poetry you wrote. How does your man let you out by yourself? Damn yo! You fly as fuck. You got nice teeth! That nigga mad stupid. Can I take you…

Me: did you just call me a hoe who thinks I’m givin you money AND a slave who is writing you poetry, while stripping my clothes off with your eyes, plus insulting my nigga, right after complimenting my smile?

Him: 😳

Me: have a good evening. I’m trans.

Him: what’s that?

Me: a transexual. I used to be Eric. Now I’m Erica. I had my surgery last year.

Him: 😮 [makes some excuse, practically trippin over his own feet to get faaaaaaar away from me]

My homie: why you lie to that nigga like that? 😂😂

Me: quickest way to get rid of a cis gendered man who likes biological women?

Tell him you used to have a penis.



( why my nigga call me to say if T was really a Mack like that? He would have asked both jump offs to stay. In the same bed, with him. See what they say.)

That’s his mama on the right.


✌🏾 ya’ll. I’m lit. And exhausted!

(I told you. My boy ct3 is the only nigga who goes to the DR, and everywhere else in the world, and takes prostitutes out to eat and on excursions and shit, no sex at all, because he genuinely loves women, and has been around me pretty consistently since I was 12.

(Which, consequently, is why Chrisette Michele was turned into the “devil” by black twitter)

T? I didn’t spend as much time with him growing up.



“I am not your jesus”


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