relationship ground rules — from a woman’s perspective

i’ve been thinking a lot about what honesty means in a relationship between two intimate partners. this isn’t a male bashing session lol, but it is an observation on the state of men and women’s transparency, what love really means (it’s an action) and how to have a healthy relationship with a human being who has his own thoughts, beliefs, and observations on women, the state of relationships in 2016… his own independent thinking. when i hear a man speak honestly and tenderly, about being screwed over by a woman. when he can cry over it. i think, “hope”. and, here we go again. what is this sick cycle?

break it.

establishing ground rules. they are important for your emotional well being, as are putting up boundaries for those variables that you will not tolerate. me for example? i don’t do cheating. it’s extremely painful, and unnecessary. but i also respect personal space if he communicates that he needs it, clearly, and isn’t just stringing you along. respect that. if you feel the need to cheat on your significant other, and you can’t talk to your partner about it? you might as well call it quits. as a woman, i’ve found that letting a man know what your expectations are upfront? helps. it’s not foolproof, but it’s a start. you don’t need to scream, and yell, or go into “bitch” mode, attack some other woman that he’s probably damaged too (total turnoffs for anybody — though i get how easy it is to do — especially when you feel as though you are being ignored or not taken seriously.and it’s not tolerable — to be dismissed, when you are already a third class citizen — brn and a woman).

explain how you ARE going to be treated, focus on the affirmatives, and let him know that you will extend him the same courtesy. don’t ask anything you’re not willing to provide (this goes for money, sex, time, etc. and he shouldn’t be asking you either if he’s not willing to provide what he’s asking from you, in turn). equality is about just that. we will both treat each other fairly and justly? or we will have no relationship.

period.

it’s frustrating to have to explain this to grown adults lol. but if he needs help, if he’s growing into being a better partner? you may not want to throw in the towel because of past frustrations and heartbreak over men who really didn’t get it, or better yet, felt they were so entitled that they could have cared less. skip the patriarchs. find a feminist/womanist. lol

i still have hope for these dudes, and for you. it’s 2016. there are no intimate relationships without equality between men and women and respect for each other’s very human lives. keep up the good fight. put love first no matter how hard it is. and if you have a good one? why let go of it? people who care about you will be few and far between. don’t kick someone to the curb quickly. you may just lose the best thing you never knew you had?

until they jett. lol

love can be worth it. :)

peace.

(don’t link him to anything social media related. lol the best monogamous relationships i’ve witnessed? are when two people decide to keep their business face to face. your app? won’t replace that. ❤)