relationships are definitely hard. you have to have 2 people committed to working together, to make them work. when one person bows out, cuz s/he doesn’t want to do the work? let them go. s/he ain’t interested in making the effort on your behalf. they ain’t worth you. you can only let somebody come back so many times. before they realize, you’ll always allow yourself to be walked on. there’s no incentive to change horrid behaviour.
find a person who knows your worth. and will do the work.
if you’ve been damaged. find a person who understands it. and is patient. that whole spliel about you have to be whole within yourself, first? is bullshit. love, heals. i was healing, quite well. then that person decided to bow out. he loves someone else.
cool. just don’t use me, to love her. love her for her. don’t love her for me. we’re not the same person. *crazy* lol
i want a man who loves me, for me. not her/him/them. and, is brazy enough to try it. without calling me back after realizing “me extraño tan mucho”
it’s unnecessary when you fuck up, badly, to contact that person again. you cause unnecessary pain and you make them feel guilty for caring about you. like they owe you something — when they owe you nothing. and have already paid: with their hearts, with their money, with their time, with their effort. you didn’t appreciate it. because women — are dispensable — and interchangeable. it’s patriarchy and machismo. there is no equality in a relationship where you tell me who and how to be. dismiss me when it’s inconvenient for your other obligations. pop up again when you need something. like the good love you now realize — you fucked up. not me. i know how to keep my legs closed sharing me only with you. cuz i care about your feelings. and have respect for myself.
don’t be selfish, men — with your harems and abuse — take the loss and find a woman who doesn’t mind sharing you. there are plenty of “sexually liberated” women who will treat you exactly like you treat women. dispensable. interchangeable. and occasionally. when they feel like it.
and believe a woman when she tells you — straight out — i’m not sharing you with anyone else. don’t play games with that. you might wind up — really fucked up. especially with a woman who has already been through it more than once. and let’s you know — save your games for women who play them.
i’m not the one.
*healing, is a long process for me. i don’t rush it. and i won’t be rushed — by anybody. what’s meant for me. will be.*