How ISIL is winning the Battle

I got a call from Assad Junior when he told me he lost another city to ISIL. As usual, he was his cheerie self, talking about the weather and then asking me suddenly if I could send arms.

‘Listen dude, I thought you were winning the battle?”

“How can I when those fucking Americans are supplying ISIL with weapons? They are doing this on the pretext of supporting these freedom fighters in Syria….what do you want me to do?”

At this point I took out my Cohiba, and sucked on it to find inspiration. And apparently Assad Junior has done whatever he could but ISIL is winning on all fronts.

First, Assad wanted to cut off the Internet and power to ISIL cities. This was a brilliant plan.

I cannot for the life of me understand why it is so difficult to cut the influences of ISIL and prevent wayward teens from joining them. Technology is their live line.

All these teens are on social media. ISIL recruits them with YouTube, Twitter and Facebook and Google. They could also be using Instagram but I have no idea if that is true.

Now, take for example, China. Which bans all these social media and in the process doesn’t even have a jihadist from Xinjang who has made his way to Syria. True, the Wegurs use a lot of embellishments as weapons, like meat cleavers, anime inspired swords and pent up angst. This alone had killed scores but they never made it to Syria to shake the hands of Jihadi John.

So what is wrong with this picture?

Every single social media network are controlled by Jews in the west. It’s like Nazism but way cooler to teens who for the lack of a better judgment thinks that it’s a paid holiday in the deserts of Syria.

Now we all know that ISIL is funded by the Mossad and Saudi Arabia. Jews help them sell the oil on NYMEX and gain new followers on Twitter. Now that the oil prices are down, the Mossad doesn’t have much of a plan except double down on the social media exposure. The Saudis have loads of cash to blow, and that’s why they are behind funding ISIL and Al Kaeda.

Take for example the bombing in Yemen. The Saudis are hell bent on bombing the Houthis while ISIL and Al Kaeda is totally kosher with them. In fact, Al Kaeda are the reserve Foreign legion for the Saudis.

But money is fast running out and ISIL knows it. Feeding an army is no joke. They have to eat well before marching about in the heat. Aerial bombardments have so far yielded a few casualties here and there but seriously, you can’t bomb an empty desert in the hope of hitting someone. That’s why in Syria and Iraq, those bombs are totally useless.

And those Apache helicopters spend so much time shooting with oftentimes glowing results for arms producers. They can waste a ton of ammo on a few civilian deaths and yet can’t dent the numbers behind the Jihadist. This bodes well for the US arms industry.

Then there is social media, where a boosted paid post will gain new followers. Why hasn’t congress come round to banning them? Facebook is loath to close down those offending accounts because it is the only way Zuckerberg could finance his bar mitzvah. If it was up to the Russians, he’d be removed to a very cold gulag located in Siberia.

But in America, the American arms industry is thrilled beyond words that more bombs have to be made to bomb the ISIL jihadist. No wonder unemployment is slightly down in the US since ISIL came into the scene. For the rest of you reading this in America, better make hay while the sun shines. Your best bet for a long term job is in assembling bombs for the Air Force. That said, you will have a bomb of a time.