Trump sells out to the Deep State

Israel shits bricks as Saudi terrorist attacks Ariana Grande concert

You can tell a lot from the first trip made by a newly elected president on what or who he wants to get a handout from and certainly, the Saudis are pretty happy at what they got. Right.

That’s also why the Saudis authorized an attack on Zionist interest in America. Now how do I know this, well let’s say a little bird in Beijing told me this.

It happened on Friday, the very day Trump landed in Rhiyard, the living hell which Iranians described as worst than Sodom and Gemorrah put together. Chinese intelligence dropped me a cryptic note. Saying that I should not allow my daughter to go to any music concert in the UK. Apparently they got note that some major turd was about to blow up.

Fast forward to Tuesday in Beijing where i am now attending a conference on Chinese economics versus Adam Smith, a think thank initiative by a very secretive group backed by Xi himself. Ok, it wasn’t about Adam Smith but more of a signing of sorts, boring political stuff which I shan’t indulge you.

So I get woken up in the early hours by a text message from the Kremlin telling me fire up my trusty fax machine.

Reams and reams of intelligence started to spew and I was wondering if they were sending me stuff that Eddie forgot to release to wikileaks but after reading it, it was some kind of concert in Manchester.

I do not know who this Spanish or Italian chick by the name of Grande is but I was pretty sure it was the same thing that the Chinese had warned me about.

So I got on the iPhone to call the Iranians to see if they did it. They replied… “who the fuck is Ariana Grande?”. Trusted she isn’t famous enough for the Iranians to give a shit, so I called the Hezbullah dudes and all the said was “why should we bomb a concert in all places but Syria. There are plenty targets in Homs that are easier to reach. Then I called up HAMAS, who had a voice automated reply telling me to send money to their Geneva account. Which I take to mean that they are far too poor to afford an air ticket to Manchester. Then I called the Taliban to see if they did it and their reply was “ah yes, Ariana Grande…we know her well. Nice ass, very cute. Makes for nice sex slave but not very good for producing Children. Please ask her to come to Afghanistan so we can kidnap her but we don’t bomb her concert. Not here or anywhere.

So called up my IRA contact. Now this blokes have been inactive for a while so when Paddy finally picked up my call. He sounded a bit tipsy. “Wot? Bomb Manchester? Yea. hold on a minute, I think we have a while back. Can’t recall when but I can give you a straight answer after I freshen up with a couple of pints of Guinness.

Needless to say it wasn’t going anywhere until much later when Beijing intercepted a Mossad phone call to Saudi intelligence.

Mossad: You fucking Arab, did you attack the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester?
Saudi GID: Maybe it was Al-Queda?
Mossad: You moron, we are backing Al-Queda, we would know it if it was us. Did you send your ISIL terrorist to blow up the Manchester Arena?
Saudi GID: Maybe they wanted money which you Jewish bastards seem to stinge on and blew up the ATM machine in the foyer.
Mossad: Wait, how did you know the bomb was located in the foyer!
Saudi GID: Lucky guess. But you still haven’t answered if you were being too tight arse fisted on the money you give your merry band of terrorist.
Mossad: You shifty Arab. We had a truce. We don’t attack your interest and you don’t attack ours.
Saudi GID: Guess who changed Trump’s mind on Islam with a gold necklace? Na-nana-na-na….stingy pokers….

Needless to say Trump didn’t do much justice in Israel after he visited the Holocaust museum and thought it was some theme park that was simply “Amazing”.

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