What I Want My Transgender Teen To Know
I hope someday you read this, there are some things I need you to know.
The only thing I want for you is to be happy. To do what makes your heart sing and to be whoever you wish to be. It doesn’t matter to me whether you’re a chimney sweep or a film star, follow your dream and be yourself, live the life that suits you. Don’t be a cynical, grumpy 47 year old like me. If you don’t like the way things are going in your life, change them. You don’t have to be stuck, there’s always an alternative, there’s always a choice. Be braver than I have been, you’ve shown your strength so many times.
You are the best thing that ever happened to me. It doesn’t matter that we don’t always see eye to eye. I respect you when you speak up and make your point logically. You’ve grown into such an amazing young man, you make me very proud. Every single day, I delight in your talent, your unique and quirky personality. Being different is not a failing, it’s an attribute.
It doesn’t matter to me in any way who you love. So long as they treat you well and you reciprocate that. You never have to apologise or explain your sexual identity, orientation or preferences, you are Harry. You are not your birth identity or your birth name. You are you. I respect your honesty and openness, for expressing who you needed to be when most people wouldn’t have had the courage. How wonderful to know who you are and to be proud of that at such a young age.
I am sorry for all the problems we’ve had to endure. Having an absent biological father and an abusive stepfather cannot have been easy. You have always been so level-headed and open to discussion about these issues, it’s brought us closer together, but I’m sorry you’ve never had a good male role model in your life. I know that you will be a role model to others.
You might be 15 now, but you will always, always be my baby. One day you will be 30, 40, and 50 and I will always see my black flappy haired, chubby-cheeked youngster. You will always be mummy’s baby, but don’t worry, not in a creepy, smotherly way.
You are enough. You don’t need anyone to ‘complete’ you. People will come and go in your life. If they go, let them. If they stay, let it be for positive reasons. You should never have to beg anyone to stay around, if they are meant to, they will.
Harry, I don’t care what you wear, how you have your hair cut or if you get tattoos. If you really want something and it fits with your style or beliefs, then go for it. If you know in your heart that what you do really represents you, then go for it kiddo.
Work hard at what’s best for you. If you want to earn money, you’ll have to work but shape your life in a way that fits. You never have to be a vegan in a butchery. I believe you will be a successful author if that’s what you truly want. You can be a YouTube star, knuckle down, you have more talent in your little finger than most.
I love you, unconditionally. I will always love you. When I gave birth to you, I recognised you. You looked the exact way I knew you would. It was just amazing to finally meet you. I felt like I’d known you forever.
And finally, try to eat some greens now and then, never have unprotected sex, and never ever get in a car with someone who has been drinking or is under the influence of drugs.
On this day, September 11, 2018, Happy Birthday Harry.