Brick 2 Against the Wall

Bricks come in all sorts of shapes, all sorts of sizes, all sorts of colors, and all sorts of ethnicities. But to make a wall, it takes a bunch of bricks that have an awful lot in common. And serving as the wall to a popular pizza shack were a group of bricks that had the right stuff. Mostly.

“Hey Brick 44!” said Brick 91.
“Yeah, Brick 91?” said Brick 44.
“Did you hear about the new pizza flavor?”
“Sure did, Brick 44. I wonder if people will like it.”
“So do I!” cried Brick 10.
“The flavor may be unfamiliar,” added Brick 83.
“You never know until you try!” chimed Brick 2.

The entire wall grew silent for just a moment before Brick 83 spoke boldly “That’s not true at all.”

Brick 2 was taken aback. ”Well, you know what I meant, just that—”
“‘You never know until you try!’? What are you, some kind of moron?” Brick 10 asked aggressively. Brick 2 laughed softly, but Brick 10 raged on. ”What makes trying so all-knowing?”
“Are you suggesting that you can’t know anything until you try something?” Brick 83 accused.
“It was an expression, guys,” Brick 2 defended.
“Oh, and so you can just justify saying something stupid by saying it was an expression?” Brick 10 yelled. “Yeah, sure. That’s totally acceptable.”
“You know what I meant!” Brick 2 said sternly.
“Oh, I don’t think so, Brick 2,” bellowed Brick 91 in a facetious voice. “How could he know what you meant if he didn’t try?”
The wall vibrated with laughter. Brick 2 wasn’t laughing.
“You could definitely argue that you don’t actually know until you try,” Brick 2 started. “After all, you can’t assume that the knowledge you’ve collected is accurate until you have your own exp—”
“Are you denouncing the entire concept of textbooks?” Brick 83 hollered. “Are you saying that people can’t learn from mistakes?”
“I think it’s reasonable to say that knowledge other than your own is reliable,” stated Brick 44.
“There’s no way that phrase can make sense!” shrieked Brick 10. “You’re so stubborn, Brick 2!”
“You’re a stupid dumb!” said the less formidable unnumbered Brick.

The wall vibrated with laughter again. As the wall continued to harp on Brick 2’s statements, it continued to vibrate. Little did the wall know that the mold holding Brick 2 in place was not very sturdy, and that little by little, Brick 2 was bring pushed out of the wall.

“Illogical!”
“Crazy!”
“Stupid dumb!”

Plop! To the astonishment of the entire wall, Brick 2 had plummeted to the earth below, leaving a hole where he had once sat.

“Huh,” Brick 44 observed. “Well, that shouldn’t be a problem.”

At that very moment, a large swarm of killer bees zoomed through the hole, stinging every single person in the pizza shack. Those who didn’t die were infected with the HIV the killer bees carried. A moment afterward, a giant prickle of rabid porcupines scurried through the hole, all of which had recently required a taste for human flesh. Those who didn’t die were infected with the malaria the porcupines carried. At that very moment, a terrible poisonous gas entered through the hole that had been released from a nearby plant. Those that didn’t survive were killed by their death. Shortly following this, a laser from a distant planet was accidentally fired. It would have been reflected off of brick, but it entered through the hole and hit the sole survivor in the restaurant, causing the entire pizza shack to completely disintigrate into thin air.

Brick 2 lay on the ground facedown, unaware of what had happened.

A day or so later, an extremely wealthy businessman picked up the discarded brick.

“At last!” he proclaimed. “I have found the perfect brick to give all my wealth to once I die. This will be the wealthiest brick in the world!”

The businessman lost his grip and dropped the brick. The restaurant had been located on top of a volcano, and Brick 2 plunged into the intense lava within it. The lava was very thick, and it took several minutes before Brick 2 was completely melted.

“Whoops,” said the businessman.