Javier the Pedophile Pancake

As I was making pancakes at sunrise this morning and whistling some Cole Porter tunes, Little Jimmy scrambled into the kitchen lethargically.

“Grandpa?” Little Timmy asked, half-asleep and stumbling into his chair at the table.

“Yes, son?” I responded while giving a zealous flip to the last pancake of the batch.

“When is it okay for us to push our preferences onto other people?”

I contemplated this for a moment. Little Billy always had the most provocative questions when he was half-awake. “Well, Little Willy, you know that people always have their preferences. And you know that somebody is only better or worse than you if you believe that to be so. Our opinions and statuses in this world are simply a complex way of expressing our simple preferences.

“However, there is a time and place to argue your opinion over somebody else’s. You could discover in the argument that you want to change your opinion. You could decide that artistic differences are forever at the wheel. But what’s most dangerous is that you could influence the opinion of that other person.”

“Why is that the most dangerous, Uncle Drew?” Little Winston asked, impatiently jostling his plate around as he watched me stack the pancakes onto a serving dish.

“Let’s ask Javier the Pedophile Pancake!” I suggested with enthusiasm. On cue, Javier leapt from the stack and onto Little Walter’s plate.

“Hiya, kid!” Javier exclaimed. ”It can be dangerous to try to change somebody’s mind because sometimes, when somebody really believes something, it can be difficult for them when they stop believing it. They may feel bad about themselves for thinking the wrong way. They may feel uncomfortable with their new outlook on the world. Sometimes, these insecurities can manifest themselves into anger and this person could stop liking you for a while.

“But you just have to remember that it isn’t your fault that they feel upset. It’s theirs. When it comes down to it, we believe what we want to believe. And if we believe in something that rocks our world, we can only blame ourselves for not being prepared for it.”

“Well said, Javier!” I declared, helping myself to the three crispest pancakes in the stack. And to Little Dalton, I said “So have your preferences, but always be ready to get your mind changed.”

“Gee, thanks, guys!” said Little Dallas. ”Do you think I could get a taste of you now, Javier?”

And Javier replied “Only if I can get a taste of you first!”

And we all laughed.