The Giggle Barn

There was once a barn conspicuous by its giggling. Quite simply, the barn giggled a lot. It wasn’t a particularly ticklish barn, and it didn’t have a discernible sense of humor. But the giggling was incessant.

Farmer Jack owned the farm. His curiosity was maddening as no matter what, he could not discover just what it was the barn was giggling about. One day, he made a resolute decision to locate the source of this giggling.

Irma was a cow that had particularly good hearing. She would moo when she heard the rumble of a thunderstorm from a mile away. Farmer Jack approached Irma.

“Hey Irma,” he asked casually, “Your hearing is the best of any animal on this farm. How would you like to help me solve a mystery?”

“Moooooo,” Irma replied.

“SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH,” Farmer Jack roared. He stabbed Irma in the throat and watched her run helplessly around her pen until she collapsed and died from blood loss and an inability to breath. He then turned her into a delicious hamburger, which he ate through his shameful tears.

The barn giggled.