I’m Such A Feminist I Took The Day Off, Too
By Christopher “Flex” Gregory, Guest Columnist
“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.” — Rebecca West
We endlessly pontificate on who and what a feminist is. Is she a free thinking woman? One who is comfortable with her body? Is she someone who loves and supports all women? Does she shave? Is a feminist a man? When I heard today is A Day Without Women, I thought “FUCKING finally!” Women deserve some time off; they give so much and get so little recognition for it. Feminists are the most progressive group in American history so they really deserve a day of recognition, which is why I’m taking the day off too. I’m a male feminist.
Yeah, you read that right. I’m man enough to admit that my gender has had it too good for too long. Look, I’ll say it: “Thank you black women!” I’m honestly not afraid of people knowing that I am a male feminist, especially because I tell that to every woman every chance I get. Yeah, I marched on Washington, I’m a feminist, after all. And if that gets me laid, so be it.
Do feminists deserve the day off? Yes! Do I also deserve the day off? Also yes! On Facebook, my job is listed as “Member of the UN’s He for She Program” so I’m just not showing up to whatever that is. Today is about us feminists, and especially the underrepresented male feminist. So I’m striking with you, ladies.
I’ll be bravely spending my day at home with my girlfriend, who wanted to take the day off, but couldn’t or we wouldn’t be able to make rent this month. She works from home as a freelance designer. I’m so proud of her! I’ll be spending my whole day on the couch watching her do her thing because, as a male feminist, it is my duty to support her no matter what. She is a brave, beautiful, busty, gorgeous, skinny, perfect little sprite and she loves me as the male feminist I am.
She supports me in all that I do and smiled with muted pride when I announced that I would be standing by all of my sisters in protest today. I know she’s excited to spend the day with me because I always have some ideas for her on how she could make her design work more inclusive. Inclusivity is a huge part of being a feminist, and I think we could all use that extra “push” every once in a while. I am happy to be that push for her! She’s also going to make that chicken dish I really like. Hey, it’s OUR day, feminists! Even a woman can cook dinner today.
I’m deeply honored to be striking with all my fellow feminists today. So if you wish you could be out striking but you can’t because your employer threatened to fire you, or you couldn’t miss a day of income, just remember that there are men out there like me, willing to do anything to be at the very center of feminism. It’s our time!