Toby Keith and 3 Doors Down Are Playing The Inauguration

A Full Frontal Staff Chat

Mitra
omfg

Brittany
I see they’re trying to rival my middle school dances in sadness.

Mathan
I can’t believe I have to throw out all of my Toby Keith albums now.

Mitra
Guess I’m not going to any more 3 Doors Down concerts.

Pat
I never thought I’d see Donald Trump sitting outdoors in the winter listening to “Kryptonite,” but here we are.

Daniel
I hope they play all their hit.

Pat
Trump will be sworn in wearing a long-sleeved No Fear t shirt.

Daniel
I like imagining Trump trying to describe to Barron why 3 Doors Down is “actually pretty cool.”

Mathan
I prefer imagining Eric and Jr explaining how Toby Keith and 3 Doors Down are A-list talent.

Daniel
Saying “seminal album” to each other, over and over.

Pat
Something tells me Kasich is PUMPED 3 Doors Down is playing.

Jo
“Hey man, I jam with those guys, we’re tight! I mean they’re no Linkin Park…”

Mathan
And you know Papa Roach feels really slighted right now.

Daniel
I wonder if anyone reached out to Tool.

Pat
I tried to find a photo of Trump wearing a long-sleeved tee. Couldn’t even find a photo of him wearing a normal tee.

Daniel
Trump doesn’t want us to know he has wooden arms but real hands.

Jo
He’s first-gen Westworld.

Pat

Eric
In a totally unrelated story. In 2008 or so I went to a Glenn Campbell/Jimmy Webb show at Feinsteins and Toby was at the table next to us. Before the show, an elderly woman sitting behind him asked if he’d remove his hat. He was shitty about it, complaining that the show hadn’t even started yet and that he’d take it off once it did. The show started. He didn’t.

Mathan
Great, now I have to throw out all of my Toby Keith albums, again!

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