The Starbucks CEO announced yesterday that he’s considering running for President as an Independent. Despite likely splitting the vote and all but assuring Donald Trump a second term, we were able to get our hands on his platform and, well, we’ll take a Venti of what he’s serving. Howard Schultz’s Onward (to the Presidency) Plan - Change…

Thanksgiving has long been the holiday of awkwardly avoiding political topics. Who among us hasn’t made a quick pivot away from the talking points of conservative aunts and libertarian sisters’ boyfriends? The one apolitical constant was the food. You can’t talk politics with your mouth full. But, did you know…

Full Frontal doesn’t have a new episode this week because of the MLB playoffs, which apparently happens every single October like some kind of spooky holiday. …

America, as one of the youngest nations alive (242 years) you might think you’re not yet susceptible to signs of aging, but girl, some countries start seeing fine lines and wrinkles as early as their 200th year! Start preparing now for graceful aging in an ungraceful era. Hot flashes: Yes…

Tonight, Melania Trump will be hosting her first state dinner. Prior to being trophy wife-turned-reluctant first lady, Melania was actually a party planner. We received an early copy of her design plans for this state event. State Dinner for French President Emmanuel Macron By: First Lady Melania Trump Table centerpieces…

Mr. Erickson, you gave us all the clues — When conservative pundit and guy we usually ignore Erick Erickson posted his first entry into the world of nerd porn, A Congressman’s Profanity Laced Tirade in a Safeway Grocery Store, we couldn’t help but drop everything and set about discovering the identity of the potty-mouthed smart shopper. Starting with the…

Fox & Friends, President Trump’s favorite morning show is hiring a new head writer. We would love to throw our hat in the ring. Below, please find our submission. FOX & FRIENDS HEAD WRITER SUBMISSION PACKET Experience: - 7 years on Twitter - Owner of a traditional tube television - White - Fire a gun every single…

Look, everyday is a waking nightmare — we will not argue that point with you. But once a week, our staff unfurls from a group fetal position to read a few good stories, and then we stash those glimmers of hope away in the Little Victories File. It’s not as…

Yesterday, Steve Bannon and Breitbart “News” parted ways. It is hard to imagine this juggernaut of soft boys without their fearless blob at the realm. But fear not! We’ve found 6 other shapeless viruses that will help Breitbart infect the world with it’s chaotic nonsense. The Marburg Virus — Like…