Why #AllLivesMatter is a problem

I have some friends who are honestly and sincerely confused about why #AllLivesMatter is considered “racist.” The truth is that all lives do matter. Each life is a sacred gift deserving of love and respect. The problem isn’t the phrase. It’s the context.

Imagine I’ve just lost someone I loved dearly, killed by a drunk driver. I’m pouring out my heart to a friend, my grief, my rage, my despairing helplessness. Sobs wrack my body, and I can barely speak through the shattering pain of loss.

Suddenly, a passing stranger stops and says, “My grandma died last week, and I really miss her.”

I’m sure this person really does miss their grandma. Maybe their grandma had been the only person who’d loved them unconditionally and believed in them when they hadn’t believed in themselves. Grandma’s death may have been emotionally devastating to them.

However, by butting in and trying to take over my conversation, they were essentially saying, “My grief is more important than yours.”

Yes, all lives DO matter. However, trying to replace #BLM with #ALM is hijacking the conversation. #BLM specifically refers to the fact that blacks are killed at a significantly higher rate than the general populace, that too many of these killings are at the hands of those who are supposedly here to serve and protect, and that the consequences for killing a black person appear to be far less severe than killing a white one.

Those that claim that #ALM is “more important” than #BLM are essentially saying that it doesn’t matter that blacks are terrified of being killed despite doing nothing wrong.

Is that really what we want to promote? That the fact that blacks keep getting killed after “routine traffic stops” isn’t a problem? Because regardless of the intent of those who use the ALM hashtag, that’s what #ALM implies.

Does this make sense?