A Simple Guide on Dealing with All Things Finance in a Relationship
A marriage or a relationship is not just about love; it is much more than that. When a couple lives together, they have to plan a lot of things. We worry about money and finance enough when we are single, but in a relationship, finances can make life even more difficult for a couple.
Decide on a Plan
Deciding who pays the bills, buying the groceries, keeping a joint bank account, or two separate accounts, etc. can be difficult. Many couples argue daily regarding finances. Therefore, it is vital to maintain a good system or plan for managing money. It will reduce stress and burden and enhance the love between a couple.
It may take some time, but you have to be open and honest with your partner regarding your finances. Every relationship is different, and you will have to talk to your partner to come up with beneficial ways for both of you. In the following blog, we will talk about how to deal with everything related to finances and money in a relationship.
Joint or Separate Accounts
As all couples may have experienced, managing money in a relationship is not as easy as it seems. It is a tricky task that can give you a headache for days. There may be some areas where you are willing to share the money, but there will be moments where you have to deal with it alone.
Understanding each other’s needs and approach towards money is vital for a relationship to work. Whether you are married or in a relationship, knowing how to manage money is important and should be a priority. You can either keep separate bank accounts or a joint one. Both options have their own pros and cons, and it is up to you and your partner to make things work.
Joint Finances
You can decide to keep a joint bank account with your partner. Before combining your finances, make sure to check your credit scores. Your rating could be affected if your partner has a bad credit score. Have complete trust in your partner because you both will be responsible for all debt and other expenses.
From the beginning, discuss with your partner about what he or she should expect and set limits on your expenses. Be clear to each other about the independence you have with the money so that there are no disagreements between the both of you regarding spending or any similar issue.
One major aspect is to be involved equally.
If just one person controls all the joint finances, then things are bound to go wrong sooner or later. Both people in a relationship should be involved, and there should be an understanding regarding the things you can afford and the things that need to be discussed before spending the money.
Make a list of all household and other finances so that both of you know when and where the money is being spent. You will be able to manage the money better in this way. Try to build a similar spending pattern as your partner so that you are on the same page regarding finances.
Separate Finances
Another way is to have your own personal bank accounts and keep your earnings separate. If you choose this, then you will need to make a proper plan regarding who pays for what. Rent, mortgage, groceries, food, etc. should either be split between you and your partner, or you should take turns to make the payments.
Plan up the process so that you know if things are under control. Decide to pay the expenses 50/50 or split it up in another way that doesn’t burden either of you. Share responsibility and make sure you do not overspend as it will put pressure on your partner to pay more on the domestic expenses, rent, and other bills.
Another good idea is to categorize the expenses which you will share and start saving money for it. Both of you should take out a part of your respective income and add it to a fund that will go into the payment of common and household expenses. You can use your money for any expenses you want to make or if you have some personal debts. Make sure to contribute enough so that your partner is not the only one paying the bills or for other common household expenses.
In many cases, one person in the relationship earns more than the other one, or the other person may have a low income. This is where you should show your care and concern for your loved one and help your partner. You can give your partner some amount of money every week or every month.
This amount can be used for your common expenses as well as for some of their personal needs. Discuss with your partner regarding this and give a fair amount of money that works for both you and your partner.
Now, it is up to a couple on how they want to go about their money. It doesn’t matter if you have joint or separate accounts as long as you understand each other and work together regarding financial decisions. To reach the desired level, it takes time.
Start slowly, talk regularly to your partner, come up with sensible ideas so that both of you are happy regarding the spending of money.
Always communicate with your partner regarding finances
The most vital thing while managing finances with your partner is communication. You need to be honest and open with each other. First of all, tell each other about any previous debts, credits, or loans. Discuss each other’s income and spending habits so that you have an idea and are not caught by surprise in the future regarding monetary issues.
If you want to merge your finances, then you cannot afford to keep any secrets. Know about each other’s financial history and plans. You are both growing in life, and if you both follow the same mindset, you can learn and grow together. Get to know each other’s spending habits and tell your partner if you tend to overspend sometimes.
Another thing is, do not be shy or concerned while talking about money with your partner. Many couples are awkward when they talk about finances for the first time, and you should avoid this. Being calm and clear is vital when you are talking about money with your partner.
Talking clearly to your partner will help both of you merge your finances and know about your partner’s financial condition. You will know how much your partner earns, if they have any student or other loans, if they have any unpaid debts, if they have insurance costs or other payments to make. All this is important so that you keep these things in mind while planning finances together.
Another benefit of being clear and talking to your partner is that you can share your plans and goals.
Maybe your partner wants to go back to school, change jobs, buy a car, buy new gadgets, clothes, etc. When it comes to finances, knowledge about every small detail will go a long way.
You can advise your partner on his/her plans, and you can also receive some good suggestions. If you both plan to stay together for the rest of your life, then you should listen to each other and motivate and help each other to achieve your desired goals. A good financial set up will keep both of you in the right state of mind, and you can both focus on your life goals.
Steps for healthy finances in a relationship
We understand that maintaining finances in a relationship is difficult. The following steps will help in maintaining healthy financial stability in a relationship.
Remove all emotions from financial discussions
Whenever you are discussing finances with your partner, try to stay as calm as possible. There is no need to get angry or hurt about anything, as it may ruin the discussion. When emotions take over, one is not in the right state of mind to discuss important stuff like money and finances.
Just have a normal discussion with your partner and tell him or her if anything bothers you. Understand each other but do not get overwhelmed by emotions and make wrong choices or decisions. This also means to avoid saying anything that could hurt your partner’s feelings like a sarcastic comment or asking a question with a tone that is demeaning.
Divide both of your financial responsibilities fairly
Whether you and your partner have separate or a joint bank account, the main thing is to decide how you are going to make payments. Set up a proper plan regarding bill payments, debt payments, savings deposits, food, groceries, emergency expenses, etc.
The keyword in the above statement is fairly which means it will not always be divided 50/50. If one person in a relationship earns more, he or she may take up more responsibility for the payments while the other person can contribute less. A relationship is where you help your partner, and you both should come up with a beneficial plan for both of you.
Have weekly discussions regarding finances
You and your partner should not just make a plan regarding the finances and stick to it forever. This is not possible, and there should be regular meetings between both of you to discuss your financial situation. Once a week is best where together you talk about the weekly expenditure and any extra expenses.
It is important to discuss finances in a week or so because every day brings new issues. You may come up with some surprise request or needs. With the change in weather and time, daily needs also change. Talk about all these things with your partner and work out the ideal solution.
Live within your decided budget and try not to overspend
Not every one of us is a millionaire, and many of us earn a modest amount of money. When you live with your partner, some expenses are doubled and have to be managed accordingly. The best way is to calculate the finances between you and your partner and then decide on a budget.
Both of you should strictly follow the budget and make sure you stay within the limit. If you overspend, it won’t just affect you, it will also affect your loved ones. If you tend to overspend, discuss it beforehand with your partner so that they are warned at the right time and can help you avoid it.
Make realistic boundaries on spending
After you make your budget, things will be much more clear for you and your partner. Talk with each other and set realistic boundaries regarding each other’s personal and joint expenses. Whenever you spend money, try to stay within limits, or it may mess up your budget.
If you or your partner has to purchase something expensive, it is better to discuss it first so that none of you is affected later on. You can even handle some of your partner’s cost if required, and vice versa to keep things sailing smoothly.
Always be clear with your partner regarding finances and life choices
Last but not least, be open and clear when talking about finances with your partner. There is no point in hiding things as they will come up sooner or later. It is better to reveal everything to each other regarding finances so that you know what to expect and how to deal with it.
Also, discuss your life goals and aims with your partner. You can help each other emotionally and financially to fulfill your goals and achieve all your life’s desires.
A relationship works for a long time if both people love each other and have a great mutual understanding regarding life issues. Money is a major part of everyone’s life, and it is what keeps life ticking. Money is as important to a relationship as anything else.
Things will get bad between you and your partner if you do not plan properly for your finances. One of you may feel burdened and may lead to resentment. Discuss with your partner and come up with a financial system that works best for both of you. In this article, we talked about everything related to finances in a relationship. Read, take notes, and make sure you and your partner stay happy.
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