Things to Expect When You Move In Together

Sophia Mavis
Aug 27, 2017 · 5 min read

So you’re standing on your doorstep, holding each other’s hand while your second hand clutches the key to your first shared abode. As you turn the key in the door knob, your mind races to all those times of anticipation, excitement, and worry. You think to yourself, “We practically lived together — it’ll just be the same, right?” Except that you’re wrong — in ways that are both awesome and ridiculous and everything in between.

Living together is an art. It’s a patient art, it’s a beautiful art, it’s fascinating. — Pope Francis

Those 4 nights a week that you spent in your S/O’s pad cannot fully equip you for moving in together, and it’s okay because it’s all part of the wonderful process of discovery, growth, and all those huge couple-y milestones. What you have to understand about cohabitation is that it will be mired with changes — a whole lot of changes. Here are some huge things to expect when you move in together:

There Will Be Plenty of Firsts

No matter how long you’ve been together, you’ll find that there are still plenty of firsts to conquer such as doing toilet business while the other is in the shower, seeing one another in the rawest, naked-est form without anything tucked in, or that awkward is-that-blood-on-the-sheets moment. These episodes will bring you jitters reminiscent of first dates except that they’re a lot less superficial than your eyebrow anxieties when you started going out. Discovering firsts will be like finding puzzle pieces of each other that shape you both as an individual and as a couple.

There Will Be Fewer Fights About the Big Things…

As you spend more days together, you learn more about your partner. The things you learn will help you understand and appreciate each other more. You no longer worry when your S/O is quiet because you will start understanding the meaning of each kind of silence — yes, there will be different kinds of silence. No longer will you drive both yourselves mad trying to figure one another out because you will learn which times your partner might need comfort, space, or simply a tub of ice cream.

…But More Fights About the Little Things.

Surprisingly, it’s the small things that make living together a big challenge — these things make up a long list, and range from sleeping, grooming, and eating habits to weekend hobbies to choice of music and TV shows. These are the kind of things that measure one’s tolerance and a couple’s compatibility. Day by day, you discover how different you are from your partner. Remember when you were getting to know each other; you both were in the office elevator when you serendipitously found out that you both loved The Smiths? Well, the day will come when you would find out that your S/O loves The Smiths but also dances to “Who Let the Dogs Out” in the shower every single time. When that day comes, you will be tested on how different you actually are and how much of these differences you can willingly embrace, tolerate, or blatantly reject.

Sex Will Be Different

Not in a totally bad way, but in ways that could both be surprising and comforting. Whereas sex used to be a production number, you will find that there are days when you wouldn’t care that even your shadow looks un-sexy. Pressure in bed will decrease dramatically, so will the pressure to have sex. Word of caution: don’t let your sex life take too big of a side step — that will be a fatal mistake.

Chores Will Be More Bearable

Living together means you get to share half of the house — and that includes all the responsibilities that go with it. Half the chores; double the fun!

Savings Will Go Up

You will now pay only half the rent, utilities, groceries, toiletries, pizza, and beer. Sweet!

Picking Out Furniture and Decors Will Be a Real Compatibility Test

You will find yourselves in a heated argument because those velvet unicorn throw pillows totally clash with the patchwork leather carpet your S/O picked out. Then, you will wonder if you could live every day seeing that huge eyesore — the clashing decors, not your S/O. If you cannot agree on the furniture and decors to pick, what you can do is divide the room into his and hers or hire a professional decorator.

Similarly, De-Cluttering Will Be a Real Test of Wits

When you live together, there will be three groups of stuff: yours, your partner’s, and the ones that you picked out together. If you won’t let go of some things, you might not have enough space to move around in. So, what goes and what stays? Now, that will be an interesting quiz show.

Conversations Will be Fewer and Shorter

Now that you live together, you are aware of at least 25% of what happens in your S/O’s day, which means fewer things to talk about. It usually becomes a simple run-down of the day’s highlights and when nothing exciting happens, a comfortable silence would suffice.

You Will Crave Time Alone

They say no man is an island but there will be times when you’d yearn to drift far from the shore even for a short while — and that’s okay. Just because you’re living together doesn’t mean you have to do things together all the time. In fact, having some time away from your partner is healthy and often necessary.

You Will Start Letting Go

You will no longer feel the need to shave every so often or wear “good” underwear or wear any underwear at all. At first it will feel scary but when you get used to it, you will find it actually liberating.

Life Will Be Easier, Better, and More Fun

Moving in together entails a great deal of adjustment. Some will be easy, others will be frustrating, and most will be a huge surprise, but in totality, life gets much easier, better, and more fun. Now, you no longer have to mindlessly scroll on your phone when you have breakfast; breakfast now becomes a mini date before you head to work. And you know one of the best things about moving in together? Getting a warm hug each time you come home.

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Sophia Mavis

Written by

Providing new date ideas and giving relationship advice at fundatejar.com

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