Ghosting: The pain caused for what was left unsaid
In the digital age, where connections are made with the swipe of a finger, the phenomenon of ghosting has moved from being relatively rare to becoming unpleasantly common.
This practice, where someone suddenly cuts off all communication without explanation, leaves a trail of confusion, self-doubt, and profound emotional pain.
Cruelty and Cowardice
Ghosting is a cruel and coward way of avoiding psychological discomfort at the expense of the person ghosted. Breaking up a relationship is uncomfortable, as we have to experience the upset caused, and often provide an unsavoury explanation for the decision.
However, as beautifully put by Saint-Exupéry, “Tu deviens responsable pour toujours de ce que tu as apprivoisé” in the book “The Little Prince” — translating to “You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”
In French, “apprivoisé” does primarily mean “tamed” or “domesticated”, however, I would use the word ‘captivate’ instead. The word taming in this context goes beyond simply domesticating; it implies creating a bond or a relationship that entails responsibility and care. While “apprivoisé” doesn’t directly translate to “captivate” in English, the process of taming in the story does involve charming or winning over through patience and affection. What this quote means is that you are responsible for the people you make love you, and abandoning them with no explanation is morally wrong.
The good news is that no one has to go through it alone. And hypnotherapy can be an effective way to help those grappling with the aftermath of being ghosted.
The Haunting Reality of Ghosting
Ghosting isn’t just a byproduct of modern dating culture; it’s a reflection of how disposable relationships can seem in our digital world. The person who is ghosted is left in a limbo of unanswered questions — What went wrong? Was it something I said? The silence is deafening, and the absence of closure can lead to prolonged distress, affecting one’s self-esteem and ability to trust others.
The Psychological Impact
The damage runs deep. Psychologically, ghosting can trigger a cascade of negative emotions. It can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and in some cases, trigger post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)-like symptoms. The ambiguity and sudden loss mimic those of bereavement, except the person ghosted is left without the rituals and support systems that typically accompany loss.
Hypnotherapy: A Path to Healing
I am writing this as a Hypnotherapist, and I have seen many people coming to me due to being ghosted. It makes me angry. As much as I have compassion towards the person with the incapacity for empathy who has done the ghosting, for such a person may have suffered from some trauma which left them emotionally and socially stunted, and I avoid taking sides, I would still like to give anyone who has done ghosting a good dressing down. It is not okay. If you ghost someone you harm someone, and that is anti-social. Just because you can does not make it right. If you allowed someone to believe you liked them, you must offer them closure, it is their emotional right. We don't have the right to seduce and abandon, we do not have the right to cause harm.
Anyway, now to the ones who have been ghosted.
Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool. By accessing subconscious processes, hypnotherapy works to find belief-patterns and heal emotional wounds. It offers a pathway to process the loss, build resilience, and foster a sense of closure, even in the absence of a conventional goodbye.
How Does Hypnotherapy Work With Ghosting?
Hypnotherapy induces a trance-like state of focused attention and increased suggestibility to facilitate healing. In the context of ghosting, a hypnotherapist might guide the individual to visualize themselves accepting the situation, letting go of the need for answers, and moving forward with confidence. This process can help diminish the hold that ghosting has on one’s emotional well-being.
The Benefits: Beyond Healing
The benefits of hypnotherapy extend beyond mere healing. It can help individuals rebuild self-esteem, enhance emotional resilience, and develop healthier communication and relationship patterns. By addressing the root causes of the pain, hypnotherapy not only aids in recovery from the ghosting incident but also empowers individuals to navigate future relationships with greater strength and self-awareness.
An example
Consider the story of Alex, who after being ghosted by a partner of six months, felt an overwhelming sense of abandonment.
Traditional therapy provided some relief, but it was hypnotherapy that finally helped Alex break free from the cycle of rumination and self-blame. Through sessions focused on connecting Alex to the parts of theirs which felt rejected and offer them acceptance, self-compassion, and resolution of past trauma, Alex emerged more confident and ready to open their heart again, but with newfound wisdom and resilience.
Finding the Right Hypnotherapist
For those considering hypnotherapy, it’s crucial to seek out a qualified and experienced practitioner. Look for someone certified by reputable hypnotherapy organizations such as the GHR and the National Hypnotherapy Society. Above all, therapy works best when you feel a sense of trust and non-judgment from the therapist.
Embarking on a Journey of Self-Discovery
While the pain of being ghosted is real and profound, it also presents an opportunity for deep personal growth. Hypnotherapy, with its ability to unlock the subconscious and foster healing, can be a valuable companion on this journey. By addressing the wounds left by ghosting, individuals can not only find closure but also emerge stronger, more resilient, and with a deeper understanding of themselves.
Self-Hypnosis
For those intrigued by the healing powers of hypnotherapy but seeking a more self-directed approach, self-hypnosis emerges as a promising ally. With adequate knowledge and practice, self-hypnosis can be a successful technique for managing the emotional turmoil left by ghosting. It involves guiding oneself into a hypnotic state to work on positive affirmations, healing visualizations, and building resilience against the pain of sudden disconnection.
Learning Self-Hypnosis
Gaining proficiency in self-hypnosis begins with understanding the basics of the practice. This might involve studying reputable sources, attending workshops, or working directly with a hypnotherapist who can provide foundational training. The key lies in learning how to safely enter, navigate, and exit the hypnotic state, ensuring that the focus remains on positive and healing intentions.
The Role of a Hypnotherapist
A supportive hypnotherapist can play a crucial role in unlocking the potential of self-hypnosis. Many are willing to teach their clients the techniques necessary for self-hypnosis, empowering them to take control of their healing journey. This education often includes how to frame positive suggestions, create a conducive environment for self-hypnosis, and utilize deep breathing techniques to facilitate relaxation.
Supplementing with Audio Recordings
To aid in the practice of self-hypnosis, many hypnotherapists offer audio recordings. These recordings guide individuals through the process, from relaxation and entering the hypnotic state to implanting healing suggestions and gently returning to full consciousness. These tools can be particularly beneficial for reinforcing the therapeutic work done during sessions and ensuring consistent progress.
A Final Word of Comfort
If you’ve been ghosted, know that your feelings are valid, and healing is possible. Hypnotherapy offers a path to reclaim your power, heal your heart, and move forward with grace. Remember, the act of ghosting reflects more on the ghoster’s inability to deal with their own emotions than on your worth as a person. With the right support and therapeutic approaches like hypnotherapy, you can turn the page on this chapter and embrace a future filled with healthier relationships and inner peace.
FAQs
1. Can hypnotherapy erase the memory of being ghosted?
Hypnotherapy doesn’t erase memories but helps change how you feel about them, diminishing their negative impact on your life.
2. How many hypnotherapy sessions will I need?
The number of sessions varies depending on the individual’s unique circumstances and response to therapy. Typically, progress can be felt within a few sessions.
3. Is hypnotherapy safe?
When conducted by a certified and experienced practitioner, hypnotherapy is a safe and effective therapeutic modality.
In Conclusion
Ghosting can leave a deep mark on one’s psyche, but it doesn’t have to define your journey. Hypnotherapy offers a unique and profound way to heal from the inside out, allowing you to reclaim your narrative and move forward with strength and confidence. By exploring this therapeutic path, you’re taking a brave step towards healing and self-discovery.
To find out more about me and my work, plus any upcoming workshops, visit my Meetup page and my website.
Lots of love,
Caroline.