The only thing worse than a ride share driver that won’t stop talking is if that driver was Donald Trump — Could you imagine having Donald Trump as your ride share driver? Ugh. Well luckily (or unluckily) now you can — because we’ve taken Trump’s actual words from his actual speeches and rendered them into a beautiful 3D animation that’ll show you what it would be like to be trapped in car with this maniac the President of the United States.

I THOUGHT THIS APP WAS JUST STUPID CRINGY DANCES THAT I ✨SECRETLY✨WISHED I COULD DO!! — I’VE READ ALL YOUR MEAN COMMENTS AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY: … my boss says I can keep writing this series as long as TikTok doesn’t get banned. SO LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME LOLOLOLOL Anyway — I wanted to highlight the three funniest accounts I’ve come across this week: Broman Martinez-Reid, Sarah Schauer and Akana.

This is quite the road trip — One of the things we all look forward to in the summer is escaping the heat and sunshine and confining ourselves in a dark theater with a bunch of strangers to watch movies, which of course now sounds like an absolute goddamn nightmare. …

I’d almost feel bad for the guy if he weren’t, you know, Ben Shapiro — Just under one week ago rappers and patron saints of coochie, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, dropped their sex-positive anthem “WAP” along with its corresponding music video. The track is an homage to their respective vajeens, and really, vajeens everywhere. But since this is a song about how sex…

Nothing but respect for MY sketch Vice President — So, big news today! After what felt like an eternity (partially because it did take a long time but mostly because everyday in quarantine feels like it’s 60 hours long), former Vice President and man who exudes the exact same kind of energy as Family Guy’s Mayor Adam West, Joe Biden, has made his…

SING YOUR SORROWS AWAY — Overly positive people are annoying, especially when you’re in a bad mood. And that’s where Michael is at: he’s in a big ol’ funk and Johnno’s chipper outlook on life is NOT appreciated right now. Could Johnno’s overbearing positivity get any more annoying? We didn’t think think so… until he started singing. Ugh.

It seems we are on the cusp of a new era — Considering everything that’s going on right now, like the Trump administration doing everything possible to gut the United States Postal service and with it, the very fabric of democracy in this country, the ever-growing number of COVID-19 hotspots spreading across America due to the reopening of schools against the recommendations…

Happy bingeing! — How are we all doing, everybody? Not great? Same here, pal! The good news is it’s Friday, so at least we have the weekend to look forward to. Just kidding, weekends don’t exist anymore because every single day since March has been exactly the same. Since we’re still stuck in…

WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE GET TAKEN AWAY FROM ME!? — IS TIKTOK TRUELY DOOMED!? Honestly… idk. But while we still have the app, I wanted to highlight the three funniest accounts I’ve come across this week: Nicole DuBois, Daniel Spencer, and Jeff Wright. The reason you may not have discovered these accounts on your own is because TikTok serves as a platform for A LOT of…