Humerous Quotes
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“ Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today . It is already tomorrow in Australia “ — Charles Schulz“ A sense of humor makes a MAN handsome “My great grandma started giggling at a barbecue and when i saked what’s funny , she said “ everyone here is alive because i got laid “Square box , round pizza , triangle slices … I’M CONFUSED !If i won the award for laziness , I would send somebody to pick it up for meShopping is an art . I am an artist . Respect please“ Nothing is better than the unintended humor of reality “Retire is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others , even though you never followed it in your own life“ Opportunity does not knock , it presents itself when you beat down the door “ — Kyle Chandler“ Sometimes you need to look at Life from a different perspective “As long as everything’s exactly the way i want it , I’m totally flexibleAlways borrow money from a pessimist . He won’t expect it backThe correct way to weigh yourself : I can’t believe i was doing it wrong these yearsUgh … Do i really have to go ? I would much rather stay home look like shit an do nothingLife is like a cup of tea … It’s all in how you make it …Some days you eat salads and go to the gym . Some days you eat 20 tacos and drink margaritas . It’s called balanceIf someone calls you a crazy freak just thank them . Nothing throws people off like a proud , polite crazy freakSometimes we just miss the pointI tried to act normal “ Worst 5 minutes “ Of my lifeI almost gave a fuck scared the shit out myselfMy soulmate is out there somewhere , pushing a pull door … I just know itHAPPY CHOOSE DAY ! We all have the right to choose … and i choose to be around people that make me giggle , smile & enjoy my silly-ness !I’m just gonna . Park my ass right hereWomen should know how to cook . Men should know how to cook . If you’re a fucking adult you should know how to cook“ The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do “ -Humerous QuotesJust saw a squirrel trying to carry a wine bottle up a tree . I think i found my spirit animalWhat doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humorIf i had no sense of humor , i would long ago have committed suicide — Mahatma GandhiThere’s no louder sound than the crunch of something . You’re not supposed to be eating.
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