Funny QuotesFollowAug 8, 2017 · 4 min readWise Funny QuotesRead and enjoy Wise Funny QuotesBe yourself ; everyone else is already taken — Oscar WildeYesterday i was clever , so i wanted to change the world . Today i am wise , so i am changing my selfThe only time a woman is helpless is when het nail polish is drying . Other than that , watch outDon’t ruin a new day by thinking about yesterday . Let it goWe don’t see things as they are . We see things as we areAny man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves“ Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do “ — Oprah WinfreyI hate waiting . But if waiting means being able to be with you . I’ll wait for as long as forever to be withMy wallet is like an onion . WHen i open it . I start to cry“ A day without sunshine is like you know right “ — Steve MartinWhat you mean if i lost weight id be cute ? Bitch i been cute !!My play was a complete success . The audience was a failureI’m not getting old . I’m getting better“ Today me will live in the moment unless it’s unpleasant in which case me will eat a cookie “ — Cookie MonsterHold the vision , Trust the process — Wise Funny QuotesA wise woman once said “ FUCK THIS SHIT “ and she lived happily ever after“ Spit on me again , and I’m gonna rip your fucking cunt off “ — Trant ReznorAt the end of the day you can either focus on wahts tearing you apart or whats holding you togetherWe all are a little broken & that’s okayBrother and sister , together as friends , ready to face whatever life sends “ — Robert Brault“ The main reason santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live “ — George Carlin“ YOu can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep “ — Navajo ProverbStop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go rightI’m no cactus expert but i know a prick when i see oneKeep calm and let karma finish itRunning away from your problems is a race . You’re never winThis quote changed my life . “ If it won’t matter in 5 years , don’t spend more than 5 minutes getting angry about it ““ YOu can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep “ — Navajo Proverb“ The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief “ — William ShakespeareWise Funny QuotesWise Funny Quotes Read and enjoy Wise Funny Quotes Be yourself ; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Yesterday…funnyworldonline.com