How Pizzagate Explains White Male Privilege

What can a DC pizza shop teach us about the privileges that structure our daily lives?

Since the election of Donald Trump, white male privilege has been under a microscope in this country like never before. Many people agree it is out of control, while others deny it exists at all. But like it or not, the sad fact is privilege is real, and it is so entwined in our daily lives that it may be invisible to those who enjoy it. As intersectional feminist Peggy McIntosh argues, this invisibility makes it all the more important to educate people about the privileges they enjoy, and how to keep them in check. So, for starters, just what the heck do we mean when we say “white male privilege”?

Taking a quick glance at the news, nobody in recent headlines helps explain white male privilege better than James Alefantis. Alefantis is the owner of Comet Ping Pong in a Washington DC, a popular pizza shop, ping pong hall, music venue, and child sex ring for the DC elite funded by Hillary Clinton and her cannibalistic former campaign manager John Podesta. The story of Comet’s underground sex ring, dubbed “Pizzagate”, first emerged from documents obtained by Wikileaks that demonstrate a complex system of coded language running throughout the emails of top Hillary Clinton staffers. As these emails have been decoded by dedicated Internet researchers working outside the mainstream media, Pizzagate has taught us much about the secret Satanic rituals practiced by a shadowy cabal of pedophiles in the highest echelons of power, operating right under our noses through symbolism and rituals of blood magic disguised as “art”. But just as important for us, Pizzagate has given us educators/lifelong learners a teachable example of white male privilege in action. Let’s check out why, and check some privilege in the process!

Now, we know what you’re thinking: James Alefantis is an openly gay man, and unfortunately they don’t have it so great in our homophobic society, so how exactly can he have “privilege”? On top of that, he’s a small business owner who has to try pretty hard to compete against chain stores, and even gives his money to local social justice groups. Nice!

But this is precisely where the crucial theory of “intersectionality” comes in. Just like the wires of a bird cage intersect to keep the bird inside, so too do different types of oppression intersect in our society to oppress people in different ways. Alefantis is certainly disadvantaged as a gay man. LGBTQ people in our country face daily oppression that even their allies can’t begin to understand, ranging from microaggressions to hate crimes. But as Kimberley Crenshaw has demonstrated, oppression is not the same for everyone. Privilege is key to understanding this difference, and Alefantis has no small amount of it. As white, cismale, and the proprietor of an extensive network of underage sex trafficking linked to numerous murders and funded generously by billionaire George Soros, Alefantis has many privileges that make his daily life easier to navigate that somebody without them. Starting to see the big picture?

Take for instance the everyday experience of shopping, which many of us take for granted. When Alefantis takes a trip to the local Home Depot to buy rock salt for his sidewalk or hooks for the secret child sex dungeon disguised as a freezer in the depths of Comet Ping Pong, security will assume that he is not there to shoplift, and are much less likely to follow him around the store than they are a person of color. And when Alefantis brings his demonic torture instruments to the register and the cashier asks if he wants a receipt, he can confidently say no, assured that he will not be questioned by security on the way out. This privilege may be as invisible to Alefantis as the hundreds of children who have vanished in the Virginia area since Comet Ping Pong opened its doors. But this privilege is real.

Are we saying all white people have it the same? Heck, no! Even though a white woman may enjoy the same presumption of innocence while shopping, the intersectionality of her oppression is far different from anything Alefantis would face. For example, Internet researchers have established that in order to advertise his secret business, Alefantis collaborates with neighboring Besta Pizza, whose logo is a common symbol for pedophiles, designed to draw business to nearby Comet. Now, if Alefantis wants to take a quick walk down the block to Besta to make sure they’re holding up their end of this unspeakably evil Faustian pact, he does not have to worry one bit about street harassment, also known as “catcalling”, which is not nearly as cute as it sounds! Street harassment is so common that Alefantis may not notice it when it happens to the women around him. But it is not so easy for them to ignore. And if you don’t believe us, ask any woman who has to walk down city streets. Their answer may open your eyes!

By now you must be wondering: there must be some kind of law against what Alefantis is doing, right? The answer sheds even more light on the nature of privilege. A 2013 report of the Washington Lawyers Committee found that eight out of ten total arrests, and nine out ten arrests for drug possession in the DC area were African American, in a city that is only 50% African American! Statistics tell us that white people are actually more likely to use drugs as African Americans, so this disproportionate amount of African Americans cannot be explained by a higher propensity for drug use. Instead, policing in cities like Washington DC focuses disproportionately on poor neighborhoods of color. So while DC police are cracking down on nonviolent drug offenses in communities of color, Alefantis can commit the more serious crime of ritualistically murdering children in Satanic orgies that overflow the drains of Comet Ping Pong with the blood of the innocent. If that’s not privilege, we don’t know what is!

These are just a few of the countless ways James Alefantis enjoys white male privilege. This list is not meant to be exhaustive, or to silence the experiences of anyone who doesn’t feel represented by these examples. Instead, it is meant to begin a discussion that may be uncomfortable for Alefantis and many others like him. However uncomfortable, we believe that when facing the realities of privilege, it is necessary to not block out discomfort, but to sit with it, and allow discomfort to inform us about how we can do better. Central to this transformative process is first understanding privilege, and then making every effort to keep this privilege checked.

So, now that we’ve outlined what his privilege is and how it operates, just how can James Alefantis and others like him keep their privilege in check?

1. Alefantis can help traditionally marginalized people access his bacchanals of unbridled lustmord, even if they don’t have a lot of money. Sure, white cismale billionaires like Jeffrey Epstein can pay top dollar for the choicest child torture romps. But this only perpetuates structural inequality by insuring access to Comet’s dungeon remains in the hands of those who enjoy the most intersectional privilege already. Of course Alefantis has a small business to run, and in this economy, he needs all help he can get! But in the very least, Alefantis should offer a sliding scale, with nobody from a traditionally marginalized background turned away for their inability to pay. This will most likely be a win-win, as the positive press Comet will generate with this policy will earn them respect — and dollars! — from plenty more people willing and able to pay full price.

2. Whether “mansplaining” in the classroom, “manspreading” on the subway, or maneuvering scrupulous recreations of the glorious iniquities of ancient Sodom in the basement of a DC pizza shop, white cismales are socialized to be comfortable taking up a lot of space. Alefantis can ask the participants in his death orgies to critically examine their behavior: are they always first to step forward, to the exclusion of others? Why do they feel so entitled to the first crack at the “pizza” arrayed to satisfy their unspeakable yearnings? Practicing the basic principles of “step up, step back” could help ensure that everyone gets equal access to the wild lusts and debaucheries to be found in the bowels of Comet Ping Pong. Anyway, it sounds like there’s more than enough to go around!

3. But just who gets to decide when these profane revelries take place, and just how they go down? Jo Freeman’s classic essay “The Tyranny of Structurelessness” demonstrates how unstructured decision making can reproduce the social dynamics of the outside world, giving disproportionate influence to white cismales like Alefantis, who are often more comfortable speaking with authority and otherwise possess more social capital than newcomers to the discussion. Rather than operate under the illusion of an equal playing field, Alefantis can incorporate the principles of progressive stack, ensuring a diversity of perspectives contribute to writing in blood his unholy bible of atrocities unequalled amongst either the ancients or the moderns.

4. Anti-oppression workshops are a vital resource for teaching people about their privileges and how to keep them in check. The next time Comet hosts a crimson debauch in its secret dungeon, Alefantis should consider inviting the folks from the Undoing Racism Community Organizing Workshop to lead a discussion on the implicit privileges at play in Comet’s depraved amusements. And he should be sure to save them a slice!

These are only a few of the ways that Alefantis can clean up his act and make the world a less oppressive place. Can you think of more? Tell us in the comments!

EDITOR’S NOTE: We admit, we messed up here, big time. We asked you guys to check some privileges, but we didn’t check our own at the door. Many readers felt our tone was demanding, which was totally aggressive and triggering. We can always do better, and do this work for you guys. Privilege doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s sort of like having big feet, as one Tumblr user describes it. Whether you have big feet, or run an underage Satanic sex ring at the behest of the murdering Clinton crime syndicate, you don’t have to feel bad about what you have. You just have to be careful how you walk.