What is it with Timaru?
Timaru, the classic South Canterbury town has done it again with local Natalie Rooney claiming New Zealand’s first medal at Rio. What is it with Timaru? How does a place with the most skyline’s per capita and white power drug dens nationwide, exceed so well at being everywhere at once?
Te Tihi o Maru or Timaru for short, meaning ‘shady cabbage tree’ definitely lives up to the shady part of that translation. I recently visited some mates in Christchurch for the weekend and this is the first time i was truly exposed to the Timaru spirit. It was a typical Christchurch Saturday night with drinks at the flat and the possibility of snow. Our Canterbury mates were telling us about how hard 2nd year engineering at UC was, when out of the blue we hear “Timmassss!”being shouted from out on the street. Bounding up the driveway came a bunch of bogans, box’s of beers rattling and eyebrows pierced. No one knowing who these guys were, we politely asked them to the leave. This didn’t work too well and the possibility of a brawl was getting closer and closer. No surprise it turned out these guys were from Timaru and luckily one the flatmates was from there himself and the situation sorted itself out.
“W3 liv in Timmaz coz therz le$$ copz g”.
It was only after this that i found out that this sort of thing happens often and that other Timas’ locals are quote “everywhere”. They roam Christchurch and Canterbury flats in the weekends, drifting and sculling Cody’s in the back seat every step of the way. The ones that invaded the flat drinks were no exception saying quote “We live in Timmas cause there’s less cops” or translated in Timaru english “W3 liv in Timmaz coz therz le$$ copz g”. According to an article by Stuff.co.nz, in Timaru a favourite “pastime on a Saturday night is to do “laps” of Stafford St.” This isn’t a problem, but it’s proximity to student filled cities like Christchurch and Dunedin makes it far too easy for them to pillage flat parties and nightclubs, turning legitimate fun into legitimate problems.
But as much slack as i give Timaru, i’m from Nelson of all places which has more than it’s fair share of bogan culture and i’m sure there’s just as many fast cars and dirty dog sunglasses back home. Wellington has its Upper Hutt, Auckland has it Westies and Christchurch has its Timmas. For a place with a smaller population than the capacity of Westpac stadium, to get the first medal for NZ at Rio is a big achievement. New Zealand has only ever won one other medal in the same sport and that was in 1968. It is somehow fitting that the sport is shooting though. I’m sure Timaru and the rest of our bogan conclaves will succeed immensely once drifting becomes a recognized Olympic sport.
