Are Birthdays More About Happiness or Frustration? Or Maybe Both?
I’ve never been a huge fan of birthdays whether I am the birthday girl or a random guest. Whenever I get a year older our relationship becomes more and more complicated regardless of the way I spend this supposedly “special day”. Whether it’s about a family gathering or a friends’ surprise party, I can’t help but have that inevitable feeling of anxiety and frustration. In fact, it is a mixed sensation of fear and excitement, achievement and defeat, pride and disappointment. Maybe that awkward mix is what actually makes it frustrating. I had that same feeling weeks ago when it was my birthday and spent the whole day looking at the clock ticking waiting for it to finally reach midnight and announce the next new day. Not to lie, but I also have been dragged out by force to celebrate making it to my 25th year of existence, the age where I am not young enough to fit in with teenagers but also not old enough to fit in with adults.
I don’t know how most people react about birthday celebrations but what I am sure about is that there has been a social stigma attached to it. People feel overwhelmed by the pressure to feel happy and joyful on this day that is automatically dedicated to celebration. When the purest feelings of happiness and joy become pressured by society, life will lose its charm. And to be honest, society has been dictating to us a lot more things than the way we have to celebrate. I am just focusing on birthdays since it hit me hard on my 25th birthday which was three weeks ago.
A long time ago, early civilizations did not even keep track of time which compelled them to pay more attention to the moon and sun and take notes of their cycles to mark the important changes and special events. They had made a hard effort to deduce their birth dates while focusing on the changes happening to the nature around them. Just imagine how impressive all this is. Nowadays, if it wasn’t for that Facebook notification popping up on our screens, we would forget even the birthdays of our closest ones (and sadly it happened to me many times).
Even the act of celebrating in ancient times was all about deep meaning and pure joy. Ancient people had thought of offering tribute to the Greek lunar goddess “Artemis” for protecting them and keeping them in good health through that year, for that, they shaped the birthday cake in moon format and lit candles as a way to recreate the moon’s radiance and Artemis beauty. Nowadays, in the era of shallow celebrations and a world that prioritizes appearances over history and significance, it’s all about how big the cake is, how many layers it contains, and whether or not it has personalized pictures on top of it. The more appreciation it gets from people, the more satisfied the person in question is and the better the birthday is spent.
In a world of fakeness and superficiality, we become unable to enjoy even the tiniest details unless society agrees on it. Even the purest feelings as joy and happiness and the smallest events such as birthdays. We have been modeled and forced to fit into specific social measures that make special things lose their value. That brought me to imagine that someday in the very near future, robots will be doing all the exhausting work for us. From circling the date on our calendar, notifying our surroundings, planning the best party to even baking the cake and getting us our favorite presents. All we are left to do is to blow the candles. And if this is too demanding, they can also do it for us. Don’t we ever worry.
I think birthdays were a lot funnier when we used to be kids. An opportunity for us to organize one more party with our friends without our parents nagging about school homework or imposing a curfew. A green light to bake a cake in whatever shape we want and still get forgiven for the mess we surely are going to make in the kitchen, or to hold a slumber party without getting our asses kicked for the chaos we turned the house into. A moment for our family to realize how much we have grown and to appreciate the fruit of their education and sacrifice. A chance to take as many pictures as possible to laugh at them when we get older or show them to our kids one day, because who knows? But after 21 or 22, nothing feels the same anymore… That childhood innocence is long gone.
The fifteen friends we used to have, are minimized to five or maybe less just so we can post a birthday picture showing the world that “we still have friends”. People even force a dress code sometimes so that pictures look prettier and the Instagram reel more appealing to watch. The simple gesture of gifting turns into an enigma solving since it does not revolve around the symbolism of the gift anymore but around its price and fanciness. I read once someone claiming that he had to sell all his camera gear, which is the most precious thing a photographer can possess so that he can organize the “perfect” birthday party for his girlfriend. In return, all she did on his birthday was to send him a “happy birthday” text.
The excitement and enthusiasm we used to have as children on the day of our birthdays have grown into anxiety and fear of fitting into the world around us. We used to be eager for that date to come because it meant something to us. It was as if we climbed another rung on the ladder of life and took a step closer to making our innocent child dream reality. Whether it is to be a doctor or an actor, to marry a charming prince and have a bunch of kids, or to stay single and live the digital nomad experience alone, it all meant something to us.
Well, this was my way of seeing birthdays but I’m eager to hear your different points of view. Drop your comments down below and I’ll be happy to engage with you.
Thank you for reading.
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