Emerald, thank you so much for responding! Yes, I know it sounds like I don’t think I’m “enough”. And that’s not what the post was about. In fact, I have stopped trying to force a “working” life because I realized it is ridiculous NOT embrace the the moment, my children, creativity, etc (as long as we can afford it). So, yes, I am fighting the messages that say I’m not enough.
STILL, I am failing myself in some way. We are all failing ourselves. It is inevitable. I am writing about it because I want to psyche myself into writing a book and overcoming my sometimes all-consuming fear.
As for being a “car-free” mom: I have written about it in other posts. Our life right now is totally set-up and organised around car-free. We started doing it for environmental reasons but now it has become a habit. Now I don’t even know what I would do with a car. I don’t need one. It might be hard to imagine living in the US, but almost half the city population in Germany doesn’t own a car. Public transport, bike infrastructure, and carsharing are so good in cities, that it is sometimes easier not to have one.
In fact, the (first) book I want to write is about the benefits of not having a car when raising kids. So your questioning our not having a car reminds me that such a book could find an audience in the US-context. Does that make sense?