Anxiety.

It feels like I’m suffocating and all I want is to breathe.

Depression.

It feels like I’m suffocating and all I want is to die.

Anxiety and Depression.

It feels like I’m suffocating, but I’m too lazy to reach for air even though I really want it.

I’ve lived most of my life struggling with these issues separately and together.

Some days are hard, most days I am just trying to figure out how to conquer those feelings with confidence and pure happiness.

Pure.

I haven’t used that word in a long time to describe my happiness.


I wrote this to myself 3 years, 2 months, and 17 days ago.

Since then, I can count my instances of feeling those feelings in 3 months on 1 hand.

It’s not that I don’t have anxiety and depression..

Because I do.

I just stopped letting it define me.

I stopped letting what I believed was who I was for almost my entire life DEFINE me.

Stopped letting what I believed was unfixable define me.

By the Grace of God, I am not 6 feet under ground with my wrists slit.

I am walking this very earth writing what you are reading purely happy.

Purely happy.