Motivational articles tend to fall flat for me, but yours took a flame to my pilot light and while it’s not exactly the burning flames of passion I once had in my youth (all of , like, 7 years ago) — it’s certainly something! I fancy myself an artist, a writer and a comedian (even sold a couple articles and got paid for a few gigs!), but the painful truth is: I’m one of those Jack of All Trades, Master of None for whom it often feels too late. I’ve struggled with motivation and focus since college, where I couldn’t be bothered to do any work or study in which I wasn’t sufficiently interested — at least I still cared to draw every day and when that fell off, I would journal every day at work until I found stand-up comedy (or, more accurately, it found me). Having left college (drop-out, 20 credits from my Bach) and then the college town shortly after, I’ve since experienced an almost complete halt of my creative juices. I became so desperate, I started a Twitter account to flex my funny muscles but only found disappointment at the lack of feedback and my increasingly half-assed commitment. I have ideas galore and a desire to do, so much that it’s falling out of my butt. However, I lack the simple motivation to start — god forbid, complete — anything. Your advice about low-stakes work makes perfect sense for the gratification without all that self-criticism but when I try, I find myself ragequitting every time — even posts/shares go without preface because I figure “why bother?” and comments abandoned upon realizing I no longer care to say anything. I have so much I want to give, stories and articles (one in particular for Cracked about my rare tumor) and sketches — ideas I have swimming around my head, constantly nagging me but never compelled to action. 
TL;DR I think I need a different kick in the ass. Do you have any specialized recommendations for someone who could be facing the flabby ass of their potential? Any suggestions or advice would be more appreciated than you know.

Signed,
Help Me, I’m Desperate