Let’s Discuss the Internet

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I AM THIS FREAKIN' CLOSE FROM LOSIN IT!!!! It's time we cut the crap! Look I get it, your life is boring. Not much happens in your life so you look for excitement, you look for danger. But seriously, you need to stop now!!!! I guess I should explain.

Let's talk about our awkward transition from paper to digital. If I have to read one more article and/or blog post on internet habits, I SWEAR I WILL LOSE IT!!!!

Well let's start with some background. We as humans have a desire for something more, something valuable, something important. We also have this desire to be a victim, and that's hard when you live in your stupid suburban house where you don't have any problems or where you don't have to do anything important to be happy. BUT THIS HAS MADE YOU UNHAPPY!!! So you make up stupid reasons to either make yourself a part of something bigger, or just to help prove that you are a victim. But just in case you were curious, this isn't just coming from an angry jerk on the internet. Imma do what I almost never do.... A Plea to authority, roll film. In 1929, God decided it was HIGH TIME France did something useful, so He gifted the world with Jean Baudrillard. Jean was different. He realized something, something that we all were aware but unlike us he decided to do something about it. During his high school education, he became aware of Pataphysiscs, which is pseudo-intellectual for THE MEDIA EFFECTS HOW WE VIEW THE WORLD, DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead of playing the victim card, our dear Jean came up with a theory that would rock the world. The Media effects how we view things. DUH! Anyway, why? Well there's a lot of reasons and he explains all of them in great detail. But this isn't a paper about Jean Baudrillard and his theories so yeah. Let's move on! One of his theories claimed, well, what I just said. Humans buy into fear mongering not because we are gullible but because we choose to be. We want to be the victim, we want to be part of something important. This excites our boring, mundane lives and as an extra bonus we don't have to do anything!!!!

Now what does this have to do with our dreaded transition from Paper to Digital!? GOOD FREAKIN QUESTION, CAUSE AS OF RIGHT NOW, NOTHING!!!!!!! So, let me explain. Unless you threw away your computer after reading about how destructive this device is, you are aware that everyone and their mom has jumped upon the DIGITAL THINGS ARE BAD bandwagon. WHY? CAUSE THEY ARE NEW AND WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM! THEY SCARE US!!! I mean, it has so many useful things. What used to take 10 different things now only takes one device, your cellphone. You can communicate with your friends, and even keep in touch with that one German kid you went camping with. SUP TIM! HOW YA DOIN MAAAN!!! You can read the local news, national news, and foreign news. You can watch TV laugh at funny cats, and read a nice book before bed. Remind me again why this is bad?

You see without realizing it people who go on and on and on about how bad the internet is, are actually cynics. You just don't realize it cause they tell it to you in a nice, peaceful, non-aggressive poem. The internet is the definition of freedom and power. Back in the day, when something bad happened, you could cover it up in a matter of a couple of weeks. Nowadays, the second you screw up everyone and their mom already decided not to vote for you. The internet is power and it has given all of us that power.

Now let's talk about the other side of this...... Yes, if you over use the internet you will run into problems. If you don't protect yourself, you will get hurt. But these are all easily avoided things. Hahahahahaha for a second there you guys thought I was gonna give validity to these stupid fear mongers! No, the reality is, as long as you are healthy about it you should be fine. As long as you don't underestimate the power of the internet, you will be fine. Just because some idiots have no self-control, or because a few of us decided not to educate ourselfs on the internet before using it doesn't mean the internet is the devil incarnate. The reality is, it's all people trying to make something out of nothing and I am honestly tired of it.

Originally published at www.wattpad.com.

Like what you read? Give Gabe Hanson a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.