The dark sides of polyamory that nobody talks about
Tilde Ann Thurium

Oh, there it is again, this polyamory thing I was introduced to in concept a couple of years ago. Firstly, it is an impossible venture to find happiness in this state of mind. It sounds great, but as unnatural as polyamorists find monogamy to be, this too is unnatural. Sure animals do it, but we aren’t simple animals, and do animals really fall in love?!? Our range of emotions, language, love and our opposable thumbs make us a little bit different.

While I will not contend the fact that we are wired to love more than one person, marriage is an action not exclusive to humans, but just about… where you forsake all others you “love”, and commit to just one. At least in it’s modern day form it is. Polygamy is really a matter of economics, not morality. It’s good to be king… or queen, or in a position of power to marry many, but it’s not a practical reality for the average Joe, or Josephine.

Polygamy being another form of polyamory, and being beside the point as polyamory does not involve commitment, other than in an equal attraction, supposedly not encumbered with such archaic thinking such as exclusivity, still proves itself out to be just another liberal idea used to justify what really amounts to the desires of our flesh, without emotional attachment… That’s funny! As if, we will ever rise above emotions.

Emotions are a part of our wiring as much as is polyamory, but polyamory doesn’t necessarily have to involve sex. Intimacy is at the foundation, and a lover you might not have sex with will probably be a better, longer lasting friend than one you foul up by having sex with only to realize you can’t really share as much as you thought you could. It’s a great idea like Communism and Lassaez Faire economics, but it just doesn’t really work.

Perhaps serial monogamy is the better way. Love one at a time. Marriage is great and admirable, but seems to lead to a life of lackluster, obligatory commitment finally resulting in late nights drinking coffee, sleeping for a few hours, then getting up and doing it all again. But, once you get old, what else do you really want to do anyway and I guess that’s why when couples who have been married for so long truly end in death.

So often, when one partner dies in a longstanding marriage, the other partner is not far behind. Polyamory generally dies in youth and is truly a youth based concept. Besides, sex is rigorous activity and is best enjoyed in youth when you have the most freedom. Try adding kids to polyamory. We’ll see how long your polyamory lasts then.

It’s a wonderful idea, but as far as I’m concerned, pick one and stick to it. That’s hard enough to deal with including the full range of emotions that go along with it than to have multiple partners you’re not “committed”, until jealously rears its ugly head and brings your imagination back to reality.

In other words, don’t kid yourself. That be kind of like voting for Donald Trump, or Hillary Clinton and believing either one of them are going to make a difference.


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