Healing Manifesto
Part 1: Dismantling resentment
There, Europeans live with hammers in their hands, ready to strike, ready for war — their hammer is called resentment, and their heart is therefore filled with hatred and fantasy worlds. — Gabriel Lechemin, in a Heart ot Earth conversation with Money.
Hello.
I took a new decision today, after a long journey of Emotional Healing Processes — I take the chance to be vulnerable with you here. I took away a big resentment that I had from a past life. My relationship with reality changed. The filter that surrounded me with its translucent filter vanished. I sense that I’m seeing for the first time.
This is a journey in a few steps I’m gonna tell you in this article, because resentment is a very used technique in modern world and also because it is really subtle. It is like smelling something is rotting somewhere but not knowing precisely where, or talking to someone who is aggressive for no apparent reason, or just because it is in his system itself!
I question first why humans are generally so numb to their feelings, apparently not caring for themselves, their own planet and each others? This numbing strategy is also regularly followed by a fake self, inauthentic part that creates a curtain, a separation from feelings.
Having removed the numbness and the inauthentic part, I am talking about my own process and what resentment is made of. After that I give some further informations for your transformation. Good reading.
Here is a little intro to make myself more visible
My name is Gabriel Hudry Lechemin. Born in France. Traveler around the globe and Healer. Coach, Mediator and Archan Permaculturist. I’m a Mage. I can make things happen as nobody ever did. Go in places nobody would dare to go. Realized actions that are unique.
I dared to create a Holistic Permaculture course with human transformation tools. I instigated the first EDE in France when nobody thought it was possible (the anti-community country!). I held space for demonic entities to be cast out and released people from deep sorrow and endless pain. I brought tools in areas where people were so reluctant to transform even so they would have thought it’s the best thing to do. I went to a couple of places and realized a couple of projects anyone would have thought I am nuts doing.
I am part of a team of Healers, Visionaries and Artists from which I am getting valuable feedback to evolve and shift, transform, change and excel in my art of Spaceholding. These fellow magicians are part of a Gameworld named Possibility Management. I am connected to Possibility Management because Possibilitators are sourced into Radical Responsibility, which gives Power back to Create, Be with, and source Love. With no excuses for being a victim, nor blaming the other, the ball is irremediably in my court, same for the other. I have the ability to play any game I am choosing and that’s empowering.
I’m writing these words because that’s important, there is so much ecstasy going into my veins, blood, energetic body and feelings (anger, fear, sadness and joy).
I have released a deep resentment that was coming from a past life.
Resentment is the one of the most intricate, complex Emotional Healing Processes because it goes with layers. Layers of mixed emotions and feelings.
When you play the resentment, it’s difficult to connect with your heart and feel. Unfortunately, the reality of the experience will be expressed in terms of concepts, ideas and suppositions, not real feelings. You can assume what you feel, but you can’t feel your feelings directly with your heart.
Instead, what I’m doing now: (saying out loud with the intensity of the feelings)
-”I’m angry because…”
-”I’m scared because…”
-”I’m sad because…”
And I let my heart breathe!
Learning to feel again after being trained to live in our heads.
To not feel the depths of pain, humans have incredible bypasses : go into the head, think in terms of concepts that keep them away from feelings.
Nobody ever taught us to think, I mean ‘how to think’ directly from our Source. School trains us to think with big already processed chunks of ideas named concepts. So most of the time, normal humans (that have been to school) relate to the world through these chunks instead of their real connection, emotional, experiential: their direct relation to reality is jammed, they live in a standardized bubble. They see the world through lenses, an education which is not only technical (math and literature for the most) but also emotionally tainted by the way they are told stories, common beliefs, standard scarcity and loneliness, including a big fear and inability to cope with the new, the future and anticipation.
When you do resentment, it’s difficult to connect with your heart and feel. You suppose what you feel, you don’t feel directly, or you fake feeling.
Stop a moment and re-read what I’ve just said.
Yes. You got it? Same fore reading with suppositions. We are so train at this.
Learning to recognize our shadows, mask and inauthenticity
Shadows? — What people do in their secret life thinking that nobody sees it or perceives it in a way). The favorite but still hidden from modern culture : Gremlin. More commonly described in ancient and primary culture as the Trickster, the Nagual, the Guardian and in the Modern Culture Personal Development the Saboteur, the Protector but neither of them seems to approximate the precision that has been developed in Possibility Management, a Gameworld that supports Archetypal Growth of Human Systems.
Oh, Gremlin, there’s incredible power there. Trying to understand it is like diving into a spider’s web. Brave? Unwise to think you’ll understand it at first. How can we explain the fact that the advancing destruction of the biosphere leaves humans indifferent, apathetic or climate skeptical? Why, despite the mental and emotional turmoil we feel, so few come forward, preferring the cushioned comfort of anti-depressants, distractions or addictions (including social medias)?
And yet there are people out there for whom living things matter: mental health¹ and therefore emotional health, the life of society and its culture and the degradation of the biosphere². Yet life doesn’t seem to be ‘stirring’ much for many: scattered? troubled? incapacitated? preoccupied? in denial? or waiting for an authority to whom to delegate the task³?
Yes, I am aware that realizing being insane could drive freezing fears or agonizing shame. This is a whole process to learn how to feel. In some areas, our inner landscapes are barricaded, obstructed or blocked. If fear cannot run as a river would do it kind of penetrates and contaminate our inner territories with panic attacks, craziness — sudden burst of energy generating awkward sensations and sometimes erratic persecuting thoughts — and fantasy worlds as an escape. This is scary sometimes to open up. We are not mad, we are stressed to what could be really feeling.
We, humans are more than what we think. We might be one of the most sophisticated species on Planet Earth. But we are performing misconduct. We despise Gaïa, spoiling our lives with lies and destroying our resources, spilling oil, wasting time and desires. A constant thread of separations, losing friends — the ones we left behind, the ones we never dared to encounter — and postponing our duties : taking care of our home as if we’d been strangers to this planet. Who would let a pile of garbage rot in their kitchen ? (Humans, modern civilized humans).
We missed something. Is there any help ? What are we waiting to expand our true powers ? Billionaires’ boredom is not enough to prove that the dream of climbing the ladder is already dead ?
It is never too late for a new day, new line, new decision. But only you can take it.
Taking new decisions from this authentic self
I took a new decision today, after a long journey of Emotional Healing Processes — I take the chance to be vulnerable with you here. I took away a big resentment that I had from a past life.
Today I broke the chains that were tightening me to the departure of my newborn life.
Still looking at the future as it was something outside of me, unreachable, untouchable or fake. What am I if I don’t have a future ? What am I if I’m not able to honor my dreams ? Nothing. And less than Nothing. A black hole of sorrow.
Today I broke the chains of my despair. In that past life I died in a prison. Victim of a betrayal. Not seeing the light in my Village still Holding me. In my sorrow, I got blinded by my trickster, my Gremlin. Is it his fault ? No. This is what is. The gray oozing walls of my cell letting me in despair or the absolute loneliness confronting me to my shadows are my fault ? No. This is what is. This is what happened.
But more importantly, was I aware until I took off the layers of despair (fear and sadness) and insanity (joy and anger) ? No. That’s what it is. That’s what happened. I died in sorrow, loneliness and insanity, covered by my own resentment.
Impossible to admit that my whole Village cried silently, that a dear friend came by my cell bringing a candle, that a group of Mages tried to reach me through images. Impossible to admit that, I surrendered to the gray : unrefined experience of my hatred. I believed in my own story: that’s self-betrayal!
I took a step back, so I could look at the whole picture. There was not only pain, loneliness, fears, despair. There was a whole world out there, still connected to me. “The stories that we creates around our pain are a prison for our soul” I think I got that clearly this time. They have no reality.
Impossible to admit that I had many people loving me in that past life. Impossible to admit that the sky was still shining as I was dying in my cell. I took that with me. I was wearing a pain that I could not explain. As a child, my mother could not even figure out a smile on my face until the age of six months. The pain was real.
Only now I can say : this was real. I made my journey through sorrow and insanity. But the boat is still on the ocean. An infinite horizon of Healings and adventures. What brought me there ? I don’t know. More importantly, does it help knowing ?
Remembering how soft is death, and how strong is life, I wanted something else. That’s why this time I chose healing.
I went into a roller-coaster of different layers of unexpressed feelings. Unmixing fear and sadness, anger and joy, fear and anger… I was sourcing new information from my physical body: dizziness, tears in the eyes, sobbing, wallowing in an unexplainable shame and sweating.
After removing the last layer of insanity, my Coach Marina Mello told me to look at my Village. I saw many people, Beings, relatives trying to live their lives awkwardly while handling big fears. And their Gremlin took over, and they started arguing and dispersing.
I got angry about what I wanted to do and didn’t do. I directed this anger at those who had supposedly betrayed me. I expressed my sadness for what I had missed, the ties I had lost at that moment in my past.
I suffocated in my fear of dying alone in prison.
Then I let go of my expectations, removed them one by one like needles stuck into a tangled ball of wool of my unexpressed feelings.
One by one I released them.
It wasn’t until I let go of them that I was able to release this ball of hate that I had held in my heart, which was like a shield preventing me from connecting with people.
Step 4: Do you still think that healing is subsidiary ?
This is central. Because healing will never be what you think of. There, this is your Gremlin telling you this “this is not for now, look I’m already feeling better”, “this is online, I cannot make it, I cannot handle it, I’m not made for it”, “I need something else to heal”, “I will do it later” etc. are lies to be at ‘peace’ with your fears of the new. If you relate to healing through a list of excuses, no matter how hard you think of a possibility to go beyond your troubles will not work.
Step 5: Healing is new. How could you know what it’s about in advance ?
Poetry is one of the remedies but is not enough. Unknown is one of the ways. We are drifting away like an unspoken message in a bottle, like books that have stayed unread, restlessness, anxious, fidgeting in the vast immensity of Possibilities and the ‘what if’ unless the soft and radical sword of Clarity in a Radical Responsible Space or Death comes visit us unexpectedly, remembering how humble we could be regarding the driving forces of the Universe.
There is no way you can in go in comfort with that, it’s out of your comfort zone! This is stepping in the new, in the unknown, in the unexplored.
Experiment: Will you be bold and courageous enough to take back your resentments stopping you to live your life full out?
I invite you to an experiment, inspired from another coach, Nicole Hartley Bradford that has set up an entire process for taking out the resentments.
Create a resentment detector within yourself. It could be an alarm wielded in your shoulder, a magic wand, a talking stick —( it has to be something real for you, don’t go with wild fantasies here). It could be something as simple as declaring that you have a scanner in the front part of your head that you can push a button ‘on’ to have it working.
Use this resentment detector to scan for resentment patterns, such as:
- while you give appreciation to someone you shrink yourself, feel little or sad for no reason
- when you go somewhere (eg. market place, administrative offices…) you feel fear for no reason and you are stuck, you cannot go there, your mind goes round and round, you suffocate or go anxious etc.
- you think of someone you would like to see and suddenly you have thoughts telling you “he or she will never admit that…”, “he or she won’t help me with…”
- you want to do an action and suddenly a block of fear rise in your system telling you that “it will not work”
- when you do nothing and you feel this pressure for doing something (tension in your back or thoughts saying “you have to do something!”)
- resentment towards yourself can be called ‘regret’ what are the self resentment you are keeping towards yourself
Resentment appears when you expect someone, something, a situation to be different than what is. You expect the thing to go a certain way. The process of becoming real again can be maid by dropping any expectations towards what is.
Here is a form to help you:
Turn these points into sentences to work with:
- I expected ___(name)___ to ______ and not do _________.
- I lost ___________, and it was ___(name)____’s fault.
- I’ll never again get to _________, and it is ___(name)___’s fault.
- I am alone because of ____(name)_____ and ________ is keeping me safe.
Write out each line at the top of a blank page, and start to write.
Good expectation harvest!
- Gabriel, Healer, Possibilitator, Artist, and more importantly Being.
