An open letter to Chris Christie
I have to ask, why?
Everything was going semi-fine, and then June 30, 2015 happened. I won’t even get into the reasons why or mention any Hudson river crossings. You know what you did.
It wasn’t always this way in The Garden State, though. When I was a kid, back in the early aughts — when Bamboozle VIP tix were #goals — I dreamt of nothing more than having a stable political climate. I told my 15-year-old self: this is what it means to be an NJ adult.
But this isn’t about politics, this is about something bigger. The truth is, the state of New Jersey deserves better. Not just for its diverse and rich culture. Not for the amount of iconic moments it’s contributed to pop culture. Not even for its enviable proximity to Manhattan. But because we’re tired of having to defend it to others. Call it a bipartisan PR concern, if you will.
Do you know how exhausting it is to make my state feel cool (and it is) on a daily basis? As someone who chose to attend an in-state school — ~The State University of New Jersey~ (which you merged with an in-debt medical school) — and contribute to the local economy, I’m frankly tired of constantly deflecting comments about your questionable leadership.
And to think you almost had us fooled with that Obama hug during Sandy, smh. Back when I joined the rest of the nation in praising your bipartisan embrace (despite waiting nine days to get power). Guess an election cycle brings out the best in people, huh?
But it’s getting harder to defend by the day, you see. You’ve even managed to kill any seed of creativity or commerce in the state, literally sending entire industries (like film and TV) elsewhere. Even while living in another state, the anxiety of your literally absent leadership looms. It was one thing living in Jersey and relating to the pained expressions on the faces of let’s say, poorly-paid public school teachers, but having to explain the incoherent clusterfuck that is New Jersey local politics to foreigners (New Yorkers) is just too tiring. I’m so tired. Tired of playing defense. Take me out, coach.
Before posting this, I asked a friend if I should write an essay in defense of my beloved state — the Atlantic-side state that gave the world My Chemical Romance, Zach Braff and Meryl Streep — and the reply was “I don’t think it’s defendable.”
That was heart-breaking, until I realized, I’m not defending New Jersey itself. We’ve managed to contribute plenty to science, medicine, entertainment and media. But you’re undoing all this with your ongoing attention-seeking antics. At least Kanye is a musical genius, what’s your excuse?
Still, I felt hesitant about posting this, given my career choice and dreams of New Jersey storytelling. So I texted a reporter in North Jersey to ask if this will hurt my journalistic aspirations. The reply?
“Doubt it, everyone here hates Christie.”
I thought about it for a good eight seconds before realizing, I don’t give a shit about being blacklisted from your half-assed press conferences. Tormenting, rushed, substance-lacking public statements aren’t cute anymore.
This letter began as a snarky, humorous attempt at regional commentary but then I realized there’s nothing remotely funny about what you’ve done. Luckily for everyone, November 7, 2017 isn’t too far away. But we might not even have to wait that long.
