I Didn’t Like Her Either

Part One: “I Didn’t Like Her Either”

I didn’t like Hillary Clinton. No, really. This isn’t a clever puff piece schilling for Clinton masquerading under Progressive pretenses. I didn’t like the woman. I didn’t like her when she ran in 2008. Or when she was obviously running in New York in preparation for her 2008 run. Or when she was in the White House even though I voted for her philandering husband and I was just a kid and didn’t really know anything about her.

I JUST DIDN’T LIKE HER.

And it wasn’t because I was sexist. I was raised by a wonderful, strong-willed, non-traditional working woman who was one of the first female paramedics in the country. I love women. I try to write good roles for them in the things I make. I prefer the company of women because they’re actually more into talking about real things than my male friends who all just make jokes and talk about superhero movies (those things have value too). And I love Elizabeth Warren and Michelle Obama and I’d probably like other women on the national stage if I wasn’t a lazy ass who doesn’t really follow things as much as he should.

SO I’M DEFINITELY NOT SEXIST.

Well, I’m in this little pretentious group called “Salon” (you know who you are) that gets together once a month and someone presents on a topic and it was my turn and I thought, “Maybe I’ll present on why I don’t like Hillary Clinton.”

So I looked up “unconscious bias” and learned about what it was and the subtle ways it informs our thoughts and feelings without even knowing it. This is the definition:

Unconscious bias refers to a bias that we are unaware of and which happens outside of our control. It is a bias that happens automatically and is triggered by our brain making quick judgements and assessments of people, situations, influenced by our backgrounds, cultural environment, and personal experiences.”

And I learned some interesting stuff while I was researching this presentation. Like did you know blond women make 7% more money than brunettes or redheads in the workplace? Or that 50% of Fortune 500 CEOs are around six feet tall even though 14.5% of the male population are that size?

Here’s the research paper I pulled a lot of my learning from. It’s focused a lot on the workplace but I think it’s probably applicable to your own experience. When you’re done looking at it come meet me in Part Two.

Part 2: “In Which I Discover I Am A Sexist Piece of Shit”

Hey! If you missed the first post this will make no sense (thanks Facebook algorithm). So for those of you following along, we were talking about unconscious bias and the fact that I am definitely not sexist.

So I put my definitely NOT sexism to the test. Literally. I took a test on unconscious bias. I thought, “I’ve got this. I’m one of the good ones.” So I took the test.

I didn’t like the results.

It said I had a strong unconscious bias toward associating women with family and men with the workplace. That’s bullshit! I’m a liberated guy! I love women.

Here’s the test. There’s different ones to choose from and you can take as many as you like. I discovered I also associated larger body types with negative feelings. You probably do too. Take it if you think you’re better. I wasn’t brave enough to take the racism ones but I promise I will. After you take it come meet me in Part Three.

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

Part 3: “Why Don’t I Like Her?”

So I discovered I had a weird unconscious bias towards women. This was embarrassing. And it made me angry. And I feel a little vulnerable saying this in a public forum. Because I don’t want to feel like a bad person.

But that still doesn’t explain why I don’t like Hillary Clinton. I like the other two women in politics I’ve bothered to learn anything about!

So I dug deeper. And thought about all those pro Hillary articles I saw in my timeline from mature (but still vibrant and full of worth) white women during the primaries that I always rolled my eyes at and skipped over. Like my target audience for these has probably done on these posts I’m writing right now.

Why was I favoring every good article about Bernie and rolling my eyes at every good article about Hillary? Why did I believe every bad thing I read (and even sought out) about Hillary and looked the other way about anything bad about Bernie (like his gun control record)?

So I dug deeper and looked through the timelines of of one of those slightly more mature (but still vibrant and full of worth) white women’s timelines searching for one of those articles I had rolled my eyes at and skipped.

This article. Take a look and meet me in part 4.

Part 4: “Addicted to Narrative”

So I read that article and I realized the only reason I had to not like Hillary Clinton was because of the sustained thirty plus year attacks on her character by the GOP. Millions of dollars spent to find some kind of evidence that she was any of the things they said about her and they found zero. Guilty by association. Where there’s smoke there’s fire, right?

And here’s the thing: human beings are addicted to narratives. That’s why we like our stories around the campfire, our Star Wars, and our Breaking Bads. We love a good story and we’ve been unconsciously eating this one up for thirty years.

Also, they attack her looks. If you met Hillary Clinton in person you would think she was a fine looking woman. You’d probably think she was charming (that’s actually in the next article I’m going to post). But she doesn’t look like Angelina Jolie, does she? And those pantsuits! And the face she makes when she smiles. Let’s grab an unflattering photo of her from Getty Images and put it with our unflattering article. Because, you see, it’s not enough to be capable and talented and better than everyone else in your field. If you’re a woman, you have to have fucking movie star looks. You have to look “stunning” in a fucking ball gown. And you know why?

Unconscious bias. We have all of us been programmed to value certain concepts of beauty. Why? Narratives. Stories where the beautiful young (always young) girl is spared a life of poverty and servitude because of her decency and GOOD FUCKING LOOKS.

And every time you turn on the television or go to the movies and see a kick ass woman taking charge and doing feminist things guess who she doesn’t look or sound like? Guess what she doesn’t wear (hint: pantsuits)?

That is why I didn’t like Hillary Clinton. That is why YOU don’t like Hillary Clinton. Because we are both sexist pieces of shit.

So I decided to give up on “Not liking” Hillary Clinton. I wasn’t ready to like her. She still voted for the Iraq war and she’s for tracking while Bernie says no and all the other myriad of issues I disagree with her on. But do I have a reason to not “like” her in my gut? To say she rubs me the wrong way? No more so than Obama, a man I proudly voted for two times despite the fact that he’s more conservative than me. And oh, goodness do I love me some Obama. Why? Could it be unconscious bias? Could it be the fact that he’s such a smooth speaker? That he looks good in a suit? Could it be that he’s a FUCKING MAN?

The answer is probably yes.

The California primary was coming up and I was now torn. I had been rooting for Bernie but I now didn’t not like Clinton. I voted for Bernie because I believed in his principles and his “revolution.” I think he came at the right time of technology and his populist message to revolutionize the way we run a national campaign…a candidate backed by the people’s money, not special interests groups. And I voted for him for that reason and for his position on the issues even though I wished he wasn’t an old white dude.

And like I said, I wasn’t ready to like Hillary. And then I saw this article pop up in a couple friend’s timelines with status’s saying things like “I’ve been reading articles about Hillary Clinton for the past thirty years and this is the best one I’ve ever read.”

And it was a fucking good article. It’s good. It’s really good. It’s long but it’s so fucking good. If you’re ‪#‎NeverHillary‬ or ‪#‎BernieOfBust‬ or thinking of voting for a third party candidate or not voting and you’ve come this far, I thank you. I’m probably preaching to the choir but I hope my story has resonated with someone. I ask you this one final favor.

Read this article.

In it’s entirely. And meet me in part…what number are we on? Five. Part Five.

Part Five: “Hillary Clinton Will Always Have Drinks With Mitch McConnel”

That’s my favorite part of that last article. It references a joke Obama made at the White House Correspondents dinner where he said people told him to have drinks with Mitch McConnel and he said: “Why don’t YOU have drinks with Mitch McConnel.”

Hillary will always have drinks with Mitch McConnel. Because she is fucking willing to work with ANYONE. ANYONE. She did it in the Senate and she’ll do it in the fucking White House.

And that is why I now love Hillary Clinton. That is why I am excited about her as my next President. Not just to keep Trump out of office but because I think she is the best person for the job. And as those articles by slightly mature white ladies kept telling me and I kept rolling my eyes at THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON EVERY TO RUN FOR THE JOB.

So that’s how I went from “not liking” Hillary Clinton to fucking loving her.

Do I still disagree with her on many issues? Yep. Just like I do with Obama or anyone else I might meet on the street.

Now here’s the ask, my fellow Americans. Wells, “asks” I guess, because it’s different for all of you.

Liberals

Please stop saying “lesser of two evils.” Or that you’ll “hold your nose.”

Evil isn’t an actual thing. And even if it were, Hillary Clinton is not evil. She is a career politician, one who actually seems to care. She wants power? No power is worth the abuse people heap upon her. She wants money? She could make more money giving those speeches than she could make as President. The only logical reason for her to keep in public life this long is she’s a masochist or maybe she actually means some of the stuff she says.

If evil were a thing it would be Donald Trump. But like I said, evil’s not a thing. That’s lazy. That let’s us off the hook because we’re all good, right?

This should be no contest. Donald Trump should have had to drop out of the race last year for lack of interest like he did four years ago. But people are voting for him. Human beings. You might know some of them. You might be one of them. And you’re a good person, right? Voting your conscience?

I’m going to use some lazy metaphors.

Let’s take a poll: Who you would rather be President: Abraham Lincoln or Adolph Hitler? Do you vote for Abraham Lincoln because of course or do you say, “Well, actually Lincoln dragged his feet on abolishing slavery and he got us into the Civil War and his wife was crazy and I heard he was gay and I don’t like that and he was a manic depressive and WE CAN’T HAVE A MANIC DEPRESSIVE IN THE WHITE HOUSE.” All of those things are true about Lincoln. He was a career politician, a human being with faults who made mistakes. Do you say Lincoln is the lesser of two evils or that you’re going to hold your nose or that you’re going to write in Ralph Nader because Lincoln’s going to win anyway?

Or do you say Adolph Hitler is terrible? He’s threatening our citizens. He’s threatening our Constitution. He’s threatening our journalists. He is threatening our American way of life and we must come together as Americans and BURY HIM. Humiliate him. Say, “Not in my country.”

She should be burying him in the polls. Red states should be flipping blue. But right now he’s leading her. It’s going to be close. A squeaker.

Please stop saying lesser of two evils.

‪#‎BernieOrBust‬ and ‪#‎NeverHillary‬

Please reconsider your position. I know this is a tough one but we need your passion in this fight. Keep her accountable to the movement to the left you and Bernie got from her.

Conservative Friends

The entire Bush family has rejected Donald Trump. All living Presidents have renounced him. John Kasich is taking out ads against him. Please have the courage to not only not vote for Donald Trump but to speak up about it. Because there is more at stake her than an election. This is about Democracy and the Great American Experiment. Not only can Trump not win, but he has to be humiliated. It needs to be a landslide. We need to stand up and say that Americans are committed to our principles and that hate speech and Nationalism will not be permitted in our national discourse. If you can’t campaign for Hillary, then campaign against Trump. If you can’t vote for Hillary, then vote for Gary what’s his name. Or SAY you’re voting for Gary what’s his name and vote for Hillary when you get in the booth. Because even if you “don’t like her” wouldn’t you rather her and Mitch McConnel finding common ground over late night drinks than rounding up Americans?

Also, please donate to Hillary Clinton’s campaign and if you boo her when she comes out at the convention I’m going to fucking cry.

Part Six: “End Credits Stinger”

I forgot the most important part. The thing that I had been building up to the whole time….

I’m with her.