15 Definitive Truths about Romanians

Day 48/365: Here are all the myths about Romanians that you’ve ever heard, demystified!

There’s a lot of confusion in the world about Romania and its people. Are they poor? Do they live on food tickets and donations by the United Nations? Are they still a Russian county? What do they do or not do? What defines a true Romanian? I created the list below to once and for all answer all of your questions about what makes a Romanian, a Romanian.

  1. When you leave food on your plate while eating at our table, a little piece of our hearts dies right there on the spot. That’s what the bread that we have with absolutely every dish is for, to clean that plate and make it look like it’s just been bought from the kitchen supplies store;
  2. We are not the poorest country in Europe. You can see more Ferrari’s and Lamborghini’s in Bucharest than in any other Eastern European capital city. That can’t be a coincidence…
  3. It’s not that we’re dangerous people, but our favourite dessert is a dish called “coliva” which is served exclusively after a funeral;
  4. Our capital city is Bucharest, not Budapest, nor Moscow. If you can’t get that right, maybe you shouldn’t come and visit, as we tend to get quite defensive of our beautiful, completely dysfunctional capital city;
  5. Our politicians have no idea what they’re doing, but they do what they have to do in order to 1) get the most that they can while they’re in power and 2) try their best to avoid prison at the end of their mandates. We say that we hate them, but we’ll do exactly the same if we were to be elected. We say we’d change stuff, but deep inside, we know we wouldn’t;
  6. We never drink more than we can carry, as we say here. Yet, if there’s a wedding somewhere and we’re invited, we always call a friend that works for the EMS and tell them that we’re going to be participating at that event. Just in case;
  7. Danish people have hygee, Sweeds have lagom, and Romanians have palinka. This is not necesarrily an alcoholic drink, although it is a very strong one, so strong that it will make your eyes water, your heart skip a beat and your hands shake. We see it as a magical elixir that makes us like our old and ugly wives, idiot children and disrespectful neighbours or bosses;
  8. Speaking of women, we love ours. They’re the most beautiful in Europe, hands down. Yet somehow, somewhere along the way things went south, as most of our girlfriends or wives made a habit of driving us crazy over small stuff, like why are you still at work at 3:00 AM, or why did you buy lottery tickets instead of doing the groceries, or why did you sell my mothers’ car for palinka;
  9. We hold a lot of grudge against other people. If you did us wrong, and we catch you, you’re out. I still have a guy who holds grudge against me for “stealing” his girlfriend in middle-school;
  10. Romanians are good drivers, you just don’t understand our ways;
  11. Our most well-known comedian is a guy with just 2 teeth in his mouth, 2 squirrels as pets and a long history of robberies and other small thefts for which he went to jail in 3 different countries. Yes, that’s comedy for us;
  12. Most of us never went on a plane before, but we are fine with taking the train for example. In Romania, trains usually take a little over an hour for every 50 kilometres they cover. So yes, besides all of our perks and quirkiness, we are the most patient people on the planet;
  13. We have the fastest Internet in the world, but we mostly use it for scrolling down on Facebook, chat and “legally” download the new Netflix “series”;
  14. As a true Romanian, I can’t let a day go by without gossiping about someone. It doesn’t matter who or why. If it’s bedtime and I’m not done with doing just 5 minutes of gossiping, I’m immediately jumping in the car, going to the nearest gas station and gossip about one of my relatives with the cashier. It doesn’t matter if he or she has no idea who I’m talking about, it’s vital for me to do it. It’s like breathing for us;
  15. Finally, we Romanians are ready to literally strip ourselves naked if there’s another person in need of clothes on the street and ready to give up our food in order for them to eat. We might be seen as “those guys who steal and do bad stuff in Europe”, but in reality, we have millions of hard-working people out there who work as doctors, lawyers, actors and so on and never steal. As with any nation, we do have our flaws, but we’re kind and extremely friendly. We’re ready to let you sleep on our couch for free if you’re out of money, but when you get some, we expect some small attention for our goodwill.

Thank you for your time!

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My name is Gabriel Iosa, I’m a 25 years old travel enthusiast, food lover, Psychology student, Full-time Freelancer, writer and Instagram fanatic. You can follow me @gabrieliosa, and if you liked this post, give it exactly 45 claps!

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