This Formula Will Teach You How To Never Be Angry Again
Day 166/365: It involves no math, so don’t worry…
Keeping your calm is the most important skill you can learn in life. Unfortunately, our lifestyles will always put us in anger’s way. We can do but two things when that happens:
- We can give in and get angry and probably break a window. Or suffer some sort of attack, regardless if heart or brain-related;
- We can approach the feeling in a different way and remove it before it gets way too uncontrollable to be reversed.
In life, there’s only one thing you can actually control, and that thing is the way you respond to situations. You can’t modify the past, you can’t influence the future, you can’t even live in the present sometimes, as the mind likes to wonder and make you care more about yesterday or tomorrow than about the present day.
“It’s all about finding the calm in the chaos” — Donna Karan
When an unpleasant situation emerges, the untrained mind quickly reacts to it. It makes you scream and shout, throw rocks towards a defenceless chicken or do some other crazy stuff. It reacts to the stimuli in an almost primate form. It consumes the anger through gestures and therefore lets some of the pressure get out of your system before you blow up.
If you train your mind to respond to these anger-inducing stimuli, rather than react to them, you’ll be on your way to an anger-free life.
How to train your mind to respond to anger?
As mentioned above, you can choose how to respond to anything that is happening to you in your life. All it takes is putting some time between the moment Event A happens and how you respond to it.
When you’re at a red light and the green lights turns yellow and then red and you don’t make it on the other side because of a slow driver, instead of reacting like a lunatic and screaming to the driver in front of you, take 3 seconds to breathe and think about your future actions and their consequences.
“I’m not going to make it through the intersection because of this slow driver. The light is now red. I don’t have to get mad about it. It’s just a red light, it means I’m here for a minute or two, which is not a big deal. I’ll just be fine with time because I am still ahead of my schedule. There’s no need for me to react like a crazy person to such a small thing”
This 3-seconds technique can be applied to all situations in your life. Anger is a reaction of your primal nervous system to outside stimuli that you trained your mind to recognise as being unpleasant.
As you trained your mind to do that, you can also train it to take a break and a step back every time a situation like this comes up, and instead respond to it with a calm, calculated thought.
It’s not easy. Trust me, I know, as I’ve been a barrel of nerves for years on end. Now, it takes a great deal of craze and motion to even get me startled, let alone angry in the actual sense of the word.
Anger-inducing situation comes up -> reaction ready to commence -> stop, take a deep breath, count from 3 to 0 -> replace reaction with calculated, rational response -> move on with your day.
It’s as simple as that. Yes, it does need some training, but it’s totally doable and extremely rewarding. Keep calm and respond to anger!
Thank you for your time!
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