You Don’t Have To Be Happy, To Be Happy

Day 185/365: Happiness? You might be “overwanting” it…

Photo by Nghia Le on Unsplash
Sheldon: That is my spot. In an ever-changing world, it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a four-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Don’t sit in his spot.
Penny: Fine. (Moves) Happy?
Sheldon: I’m not unhappy.

I thought about this a lot lately. About what is happiness. What does it take to be happy? Is this a real thing, or just a feeling that comes and goes? I’ve had money, health and good relationships lately, but did they make me truly happy? Maybe they did, but what is the ultimate state of happiness?

I can’t remember the last time I was extremely happy or sad. I’m actually more of a Stoic and try to be like Sheldon. You know, not happy, nor sad. Just… be! Acceptant and calm and obnoxious at times. But contented.

Happiness is not linear

Stoics don’t believe in extreme happiness, as in, being happy all the time is not ideal. If you’re happy all the time, how do you know how to be genuinely happy when you should actually be happy? Constant happiness, and therefore a desire for it, is not only unsustainable but unrealistic, because there can’t be stuff going around in your mind that’s always positive.

Which is why people who want nothing but happiness are often miserable. People who look to be happy and have wealth and health are often miserable. Happiness is not about always being happy.

Happiness is about finding calm and peace within. It’s not about a new car. It’s about being fine with your actual car. It’s not about getting over an illness. It’s about accepting that life is a long series of illnesses which ultimately end up with death. And be calm about it.

You don’t have to be happy all the time to be considered a happy person. Happiness is learning to be ok with life and all it brings or takes from you. That’s it. There’s no science behind it, no funny formulas.

Happiness is when you’re a little sad at times, but know it’s only normal to be like that sometimes and not make a big fuss out of it. And also not make a huge deal out of when you truly are happy. Happiness is in the middle.

Happiness is accepting the present time regardless if you’re happy with it or not.

Thank you for your time!

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